Patience is Key in Dating
Are you giving your relationship a chance to develop? Or are you running out of patience? Listen to this story of how patience paid off big time!
You’re probably familiar with the song, “You Can’t Hurry Love”. It may sound cliché, but it’s true. Patience is key in dating. Whether it’s about waiting for someone you like to text you back or ask you out, or waiting for a relationship to gain momentum, it’s challenging to stay calm and trust that things will unfold as they should – without us trying to control the outcome. The story I’m about to share illustrates this beautifully.
Kathy had been dating Larry for three years. Okay, maybe ‘dating’ is too strong a word. A better description would be ‘occasionally seeing each other’. Very occasionally, as in one date every six months or so with occasional phone calls and emails in between, usually initiated by Kathy.
Most women would have shut the door on Larry a long time ago. And I wouldn’t blame them. When a guy is interested in a woman, he usually escalates the relationship, from first message to first call, to first date, to dating weekly, and on and on until they’re in a relationship. Why did Kathy keep in touch with Larry if he showed no signs of obvious interest?
[VIDEO] Patience is Key in Dating
Kathy, a 57 year-old tall brunette with short curly hair, liked Larry, because he was a goodhearted man. He stood out from the other men she was meeting online. She admired his character and felt he could be a good match for her. But the timing was off for him.
Timing is a crucial component in the success of a relationship. Right person, wrong time won’t work. So, while Kathy was ready for a relationship, Larry was overwhelmed and having trouble making time for himself outside of work and caring for his kids. How could he possibly make time for a relationship with Kathy?
Larry wasn’t dismissive of her, but he was unable to make time to date her. So she stayed in contact with him. And every time she reached out, he told her he appreciated her persistence and patience.
Slowly but surely, the relationship began to grow. Very slowly! Larry began to make time for Kathy. They had a few dates in fairly close succession (twice in one month!). But he still wasn’t calling or texting much in between dates.
Kathy decided to put her cards on the table. She let Larry know that she cared about him and was ready for a relationship. She didn’t want to casually date him anymore. She wanted to give their relationship a chance to grow and see what develops. She didn’t pressure him, but she told him what she wanted. Good move, Kathy!
Kathy did two smart things:
1. She let Larry know her standards and her intention. She told him she’s not interested in casual dating. She intended to date him exclusively.
2. She didn’t demand or nag. She told him to take his time and proceed at his own pace. That was music to his ears!
And guess what Larry did? He started to date her more regularly. He accompanied her to some important life events, where he met her kids and her parents.
He began to call many nights a week. He thanked her for being so patient with him. He told her how much he valued her and missed her when they’re apart!
I’m not saying this extreme level of turtle-paced development of a relationship is for everyone. What I am saying is it’s important to be patient throughout the dating process. Your pace may be very different from his. You may feel ready for commitment before he does. You never know if the timing is just not right for him. And pressuring him would be the absolute wrong thing to do.
I don’t recommend that you sit on your couch every Saturday night eating potato chips and watching Netflix, waiting for that guy with potential to come around and fall in love with you.
Quite the opposite: I suggest if you meet a quality guy whose timing is off, continue dating other men and live a full and meaningful life. But, don’t write him off just yet. Be patient. Sometimes things turn around in a surprisingly good way. You never know!
Have you ever had a time where patience was rewarded in dating? Please share!
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