How Your Relationships Are a Path to Self-Discovery

Posted by in dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments


Did you know your relationships are your greatest teachers? Each relationship leads you to the path of self-discovery and healing. Here’s how.

Self-DiscoveryMy radio guest, Carol Howe, is an author, master teacher and world-renowned expert on A Course In Miracles, a self-study course for finding peace of mind and self-discovery through healing relationships. She wrote the biography of Bill Thetford, entitled, Never Forget To Laugh.

Carol is widely known for her ability to guide anyone to peace of mind with simple, humorous, and practical solutions. Over the years, she has successfully helped thousands around the globe to apply the transforming principles of ACIM to their lives.

You can read highlights below of episode #265: Relationships—The Path to Self-Discovery.

How Your Relationships Are a Path to Self-Discovery


What are some of the key principles in A Course in Miracles?

The heart of the work is about healing relationships. Relationships can teach us so much about ourselves. They are a path to self-discovery.

A Course in Miracles helps us reach a much higher place of peace of mind. The workbook is designed to rewire our brains. It’s a spiritual guide which gives ideas to contemplate. It helps create new neural pathways in the brain to return us to peace, personal power, and knowing you are not a victim. It teaches how to be present, and feel safe and comfortable in any situation. Relationships point to where we need to let go of guilt and shame. 

What does it mean to change the purpose of relationships?

The reason we get into relationships is to get something we don’t already have. It’s bound to fail, as two people are going in with a neediness to get what they’re missing. There are two purposes to the relationship where each wants to get their way. This is not common ground. The only way relationships can be healing and successful is to have one single purpose for the relationship. 

[It’s important to realize that] we are already safe, loved, valuable, and have exactly the combination of talents and experience we need to live a happy life. [For relationships to succeed], we need to get our brains rewired about ourselves and others.

We don’t tolerate a hacked or malfunctioning piece of technology. We get an expert to fix our technology when it breaks. We don’t do that with ourselves. We’re operating on old programing. We’re running on auto pilot. Step up and be your own best cheerleader!

When we don’t examine [our old patterns], they show up in our relationships. People will trigger the unhealed places in us. We think they’re the problem. We don’t realize they’re standing there as a mirror showing us specific information about where we need to change our minds.

This is a problem of being insufficiently wired from childhood. No one can change your mind about yourself except yourself. We can heal these old ideas that are hurtful, and as we do, our relationships flourish. You can’t help your partner heal if you feel deeply hurt yourself.


What’s an exercise you can share to help people resolve faulty thinking?

Who is the person that you can’t stand the most? [In your imagination], have them walk into the room and sit next to you. How do you feel? Your feelings are greatly revealing. Realize that your feelings are not about the person, because he or she is not present. It’s about what you think and feel about this person. You are creating those feelings yourself, no matter where the person is.

The way you feel around the image of this person are a reflection of your beliefs and programming. Once you realize that, you understand that [those feelings can’t control you or bring you down anymore]. You’re in charge. And that’s so powerful!

When you’re young, you often felt you didn’t have a choice. Now you do have choices. Come from a place of integrity, not survival level programming, which is just trying to keep you alive.

You’ll get pushback. But, we must do this work. It’s the only way to be free! The rewards of living a free and powerful life are so worth it. You can do this work with your partner.

When you change your mind, it changes the dynamic of the relationship! 

I loved this conversation with Carol. I hope you did, too.

Listen to this episode on Blog Talk Radio here.

It’s really really important to have our podcast reviewed. If our show has provided value or helped you in any way over the years, please: 

1. Leave us a review on iTunes and share how the show has helped you or inspired you to move ahead. Here’s our show on iTunes.

AND, here’s a quick tutorial on how to leave a review via your computer or phone

2. Share with your friends, family and colleagues. If you’ve got people in your life who are looking for a good dating and relationship podcast to subscribe to, recommend Last First Date Radio!


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.