The Rules for Dating When You Have Children

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40 | 0 comments

How do you navigate dating when you have children? Dating after divorce or loss can be tricky, especially if you have kids. Here are my thoughts…

What are the rules for dating when you have children? In this short video interview with Sarah Hiner, president of Bottom Line, Inc., I share that while there are no hard and fast rules about this subject and you need to do what works best for you, be aware that your children see and hear that everything that takes place in your house. I urge people to set appropriate boundaries and suggest that parents who are dating have an open and honest conversation with their children.

The Rules for Dating When You Have Children

This is such an important topic, I addressed it in my Sundays With Sandy Facebook Live Series last week in my private Facebook group (click here to join).

The Last First Date Rules for Dating With Children:

  • If you have young kids when you divorce, wait until your kids are emotionally stable before dating.
  • Be open with them. Figure out your policy about dating and introducing them to the men you date, and discuss it with them before you start dating.
  • My policy: Don’t bring men home unless it’s serious and you’ve been with each other for at least 6 months.
  • Make sure they know the man you’re with is not and will not become a replacement dad (unless you are widowed or estranged from your ex and remarry, and he adopts your kids).
  • Have the kids meet him for the first time in a neutral place. Go out for dinner at a restaurant or meet in a park.
  • No sleepovers with kids in the house.
  • Think about the message you want to give your kids about premarital sex, and model that for them.

If he has young kids, ask yourself:

  • Do you want to bring up his children if you end up together?
  • Do you like the way he parents?
  • Does he have an amicable relationship with his ex, or are they oppositional when it comes to parenting and most other things?
  • If his kids are older, does he still make them his first priority, dropping everything for them, even when it’s unnecessary?

Watch the video below to learn more of my tips for dating with children…

Copyright © 2017 by Bottom Line Inc., 3 Landmark Square, Suite 201, Stamford, Connecticut


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