Secrets Revealed for First Date Success
Are the interesting, attractive men disappearing after one date or not asking you out at all? Here’s how to have first date success!
Want to know how to have first date success so the men you like ask you out again and again? My radio guest, Wendy Newman, is a dating, sex and relationship expert who’s led hundreds workshops to thousands of people internationally. She’s done extensive research with men to help understand their point-of-view. Wendy is a compassionate fellow dater. She navigated her way through 121 first dates before she met her partner, Dave. Her book 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) is part tell-all, part dating guide.
Check out highlights below and a link to listen to episode #288: First Date Success Secrets Revealed with Coach Wendy Newman.
Secrets Revealed for First Date Success
You went on 121 first dates! What’s one of the top lessons you learned about first date success?
I became clear about what I wanted. [When I started dating], I had a four page list that was single-spaced and 12 pt. font. Many of the things on the list conflicted with each other. I knew what I was asking for was nearly impossible. The list didn’t give me the distilled version of the true five-eight core things I needed.
What I really want on your list is that he will empower you, pushing you forward in the world to be the biggest baddest thing you can be.
What is the #1 thing men wish women wouldn’t do on a first date?
Men wish we’d find out who they are instead of what their status is. They feel objectified as a wallet object. Ask them questions that lead to getting to know his heart and intentions, such as “What do you love about your life?” This question is open ended, and you’ll learn so much about him.
What is the #1 thing women wish men wouldn’t do on a first date?
If we like the man, women wish that men wouldn’t walk away without saying, “Hey I like you. Would you like to go on another date with me?” If we don’t like them, we hope he doesn’t say that! Also, terms of endearment bother many women before we know each other.
Why does it take longer for people over 40 to get into a partnership?
At 40, we have a better grasp on who we’ve become as a mature adult. We have to navigate being happy. Anyone can get married. But, we’re looking for someone we can be happy with.
We don’t have to get married out of necessity. We want the emotional support.
What is the #1 thing to look for in a new date to see if there is lasting potential?
I want you to ask yourself, “How do I feel right now? I feel like when I’m with my best friend.”
How long should you date someone you’re not sure about?
I don’t want any woman to have to go through 121 dates! I don’t have a rule for everyone about how many dates to go on, but if he’s really great, meaning you laugh together, and you like who he is as a person, and you’re not so attracted at first, try for at least three dates to see if he’s going to grow on you. If he hasn’t grown on you in 6 or 7 dates, he probably never will. It’s better to break up then keep on dating hoping the attraction will grow.
You can find Wendy Newman at wendyspeaks.com. Check out First Date Success Secrets Revealed, a video series you can get for free!
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