Sexual Shame and How to Overcome It

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sexual shame

Sexual shame can keep us from experiencing the pleasures of a healthy sex life. Here are 5 signs of sexual shame and how you can overcome it.

Sexual shame can keep us from fully experiencing the pleasures and benefits of a healthy sex life. But, many of us have shame around sex without even realizing it. The messages we receive about sex growing up and through our sexual experiences greatly influence how we view sex. In this video, I cover five signs of sexual shame and how we can overcome that shame to have the best sex of our lives!

What were the messages you received about sex from home, your community, church or synagogue, and your culture? Were you taught that sex is just for procreation, and it’s taboo or a sin to have sex before marriage? Did you learn that only slutty girls explored sex at an early age or had casual sex at any age? Did a past partner shame you for not being good in bed? All these messages can lead to shame around sex.

5 signs of sexual shame:

1. Disconnection from yourself. Those who experience shame around sex can disconnect from their body during sex. They may be in their heads, judging themselves. They may feel bad about their body or genitals.

2. Suppression of sexual needs. Another sign is discomfort in expressing desires and needs during sex. 

3. Blocked sexual energy. With shame, sexual energy is blocked, which prevents the natural flow of sexual arousal and excitement during sex.

4. Fear of intimacy. When we experience shame around sex, there is often a fear of getting close in a relationship. Many people will avoid dating because they’re so scared of what would happen if they became sexually intimate again.

5. Having negative feelings about sex. Some people have deep-seated bad feelings about sex or even masturbation. 

How to overcome sexual shame:

1. Focus on the benefits of good sex. Think about how great it will be to be able to experience high arousal and uninhabited sex with a partner. Focusing on these benefits will help you overcome your fears.

2. Communicate your feelings and needs about sex. Find a partner who feels safe to explore with sexually. Communicate what you want and need, and ask what turns them on.

3. Experiment sexually. As you get more comfortable with sex, begin experimenting and exploring by pushing the limits of what you’ve done before, which can include sex toys, casual sex, kink, and multiple partners. 

4. Practice sensual self-care. Increase your own sexual and sensual pleasure with or without a partner.

5. Keep noticing the shame when it comes up. Notice it and let it float away. Don’t give it any energy, and it will begin to disappear.

Sexual shame is nothing to be ashamed about. There are many ways to overcome it, and it’s important to find a way that works for you.

How to Overcome Sexual Shame Video


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