Sexuality, Disability, and the Power of Love in Midlife

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sexuality disability

Sexuality. Disability. What are the challenges of partnering with a disabled partner, and how can you find true love, no matter what?

I had such an inspiring conversation with Dr. Richard Tscherne and his partner, Jaimie Adams. We spoke about sexuality, disability, and the power of finding true love in midlife.

Richard Tscherne is a licensed clinical psychologist and a certified rehabilitation counselor with over 20 years experience in the field of disabilities. Having overcome his own obstacles related to his cerebral palsy, he empowers others with disabilities to adapt a positive mindset. He divides his time between San Diego and New York with his partner Jaimie Adams.

Below, you will find highlights of the radio show,  Sexuality, Disability, and the Power of Love in Midlife. Learn how to be an empowered dater with a full life, no matter what!

Sexuality, Disability, and the Power of Love in Midlife

How did you two meet?

Jaimie: I had a new job working as a bartender with the Shriners. I had never been a bartender before, but it sounded like a lot of fun. I met a man who told me about Richard a long time before I got to meet him. I had told him I had worked with people with disabilities before and wanted to date people with disabilities. He sent Richard my number, and he never called me. 

Richard: I was too afraid to call. I saw her picture. She was a beautiful blonde with brown eyes. She was a dead ringer for Marilyn Monroe.I kept trying to call—but I would hang up. I didn’t think I was interesting enough for her. We finally met at a Shriner’s convention September 17th. I had a busy day that day, working with my editor on my galley proofs to get my memoir out before Christmas. I was really tired and wasn’t going to go on the weekend. A voice in my head said, “Pack your bags and get going. This weekend is going to change your life.” Out of the right corner of my eye, I see this blonde flash that started to move in my direction.

She stopped in front of my scooter.

Jaimie: I leaned over and said, “Hey, how you doing, Scooter?” I knew who he was because our friend had told me he’d be there. I thought he was cute. He looked Jewish, like a Woody Allen sex appeal. When our eyes locked, everything disappeared. It was just us. We sat down and talked and floated on clouds the rest of the evening.

What are some of the challenges of your relationship together?

Jaimie: I’m over 40 and have had a lot of sexual experiences. Richard had not. One challenge was working through the sexual differences. I’m a teacher, and I enjoyed teaching him. It was spicy and different and exciting. It was a bit challenging that I had to be on top every time. We experimented to see what Richard was able to do in different situations. He was able to stand up and use his cane to support himself. I got up on the kitchen table so he could sit down, and he explored my ‘petals like a flower’.

Richard: The reactions we get from others is sometimes challenging. I answer them and they walk away with more knowledge. When I am with Jaimie, men will high five me. I was a trumpet player, so I was blessed with a really good tongue. I learned I could satisfy her that way. 

We are the odd couple, but so yin and yang. I’m Lewis to her Martin. She’s peanut butter to my jelly.

How important is the ability to laugh in your relationship?

Richard: If Jaimie and I aren’t laughing 30 seconds into our morning conversation, we’re in trouble.

Jaimie: Laughter is a huge part of our relationship. Richard makes me laugh and smile every day. He says, “I’m consistent in spurts”. I died laughing. He’s definitely my Nutty Professor. 

What’s the biggest takeaway you can share for our audience?

Jaimie: Love equals understanding and compassion. Do not judge, and look a little deeper than the surface.

Richard: We’re all mirrors to each other. Who you look at is who you are in your reflection. We’re trying to make people aware of all the gifts we have and appreciate who we are as people. If you don’t appreciate who you are, how can you be a partner for someone else?

Isn’t their relationship inspiring? Listen to the entire episode by clicking here.

The very best way for you to support our show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving an honest review on iTunes. It would help our show grow and reach more people. Thank you!


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