How to Shift Your Dating Mindset and Attract in True Love

Posted by in dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

Life coach, Kate Crow, shares how shifting your dating mindset will help you attract in the love you want. This knowledge will change your life.

My radio guest, Kate Crow, has been helping people understand and navigate personal transitions for over 20 years. As an experienced Life Coach, Kate has helped people from all walks of life change their bodies, minds and beliefs using strategies that create more focus, discipline, accountability and mindfulness. She enables her clients to discover themes and patterns in their lives so that they can profoundly change in concrete, manageable, lasting ways. 

Check out highlights below from episode #268: How to Shift Your Dating Mindset and Attract in True Love, and click on this link to listen to the replay.

How to Shift Your Dating Mindset and Attract in True Love

What led you to do this work?

A lot of breakdowns. I believe that age 40-80 is a powerful time. My life changed at 40. I had a tough divorce, and between 40-50, I went through lots of changes. I stumbled into life coaching, and it changed my life. In about 6 months, I realized this was what I was supposed to be doing.

It took that sense of victim out of the picture. It transformed the victim consciousness into a victor.

I had many big challenges, or what I call  ‘lemon-squeeze’ moments, that kept helping me refine my skills. I believe life happens for us, not to us. During a challenging time, ask, “what is this here to teach me?”

I had been single for three years, and I finally met an amazing man. He was evolved! It was right after my son had a massive breakdown, and was swept up into the mental health system. It had been a dark time for me.

Within 9 months, he was diagnosed to esophageal cancer, which killed him in a short period of time. The work I do helped me through those dark periods. It helped me teach people about possibility when they feel there isn’t any. 


During challenging times, how can you see what’s right in the darkness?

You learn that how you show up is everything. If you can get that, you’ll feel empowered.

It starts with loving where you are. If you’re dealing with a breakup, it’s painful. Focus on what you learned. What is the gift in the breakup? Begin to see it as learning what you want and need in a relationship.

The most impactful learning comes from the things that hurt the most.


How can you shift your mindset in dating?

It begins with being aware. Are you complaining about men/dating a lot? Are you seeing the things that aren’t right?

Catch yourself in the default mode. Most of us have our default mode set to skepticism.

Are you only focusing on what’s wrong? Do you focus on hopelessness, such as that you’ll never find love? 

Write down what you’re complaining about. Try to see it from a different point of view. Get curious. It will raise your experience. The quicker you can get into what’s right vs. what’s wrong, the faster you’ll feel better. You’ll attract what is good instead of what’s not working.

Ask yourself, who do I need to be to make the shift myself?

Our beliefs inform our actions. If you’ve been betrayed in love, you continue to be skeptical about love. If you can get skeptical about your skepticism, you can take back your power.

Are you gathering evidence to believe in love or to believe you won’t find love?

Our assumptions can get us into trouble. They are often born out of our experiences. Curiosity is a game changer. Even when in disagreement, you can seek to understand, then be understood. 

Listen to the episode on Blog Talk Radio here.

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