Should a Woman Text After a Good First Date?

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text after a good first date

Should a woman text after a good first date if she doesn’t hear from the man the next day? I share my thoughts in this video.

A woman in my Facebook Group, Your Last First Date, posted about whether she should text after a good first date. Since this topic is so controversial, I decided to cover it in this video.

Should a Woman Text After a Good First Date?

Here’s what she wrote:

I had coffee yesterday with a new man and we had so much in common! He ticks so many of my boxes. We talked and talked for two hours and he said we must do this again sometime, to which I responded I’d like that. 

But now he hasn’t messaged me! Should I text saying I enjoyed our meeting yesterday and I would like to see him again? 

Here’s what I said:

If he ticks so many boxes and you’re feeling a connection and would like to see him again, wait a few days to see if he texts you. You already expressed your interest in seeing him again while on the date, so if you were clear, I don’t think you need to text again. After a few days, you might want to send a quick text – positive, short and sweet. 

Someone responded:

Why wait a few days if you liked the person? Why not just text and say something positive the next day? That is what is standard in business, and in relationships – so why should there be a several day waiting requirement in dating?

I answered:

Because she told him on the date she enjoyed meeting him and would like to see him again. She thanked him already. Why thank him again? I like giving it some breathing room to see what he does, because it can take men a few days to process and reach out. And romance and business etiquette are not the same.

Dating Rules vs. Dating Principles

I’m opposed to outdated rules about dating, like a man has to text first, or men make all the first moves in romantic relationships. I DO believe in principles vs rules, and the principle I want to focus on here is clear communication.

If a woman clearly communicates her appreciation on the date and states that she wants to see a man again, I don’t see the need to repeat that in a text the next day. Yes, many people say, “it was nice to meet you” at the end of a date and agree to a second date without really meaning it. Don’t do that. Be honest while you’re on the date, and you won’t need to clarify in a follow-up text.

If you don’t hear from him after a couple of days, and you’re not sure if he got the message that you were truly interested, you can reach out with a short text. It’s great to reference something you spoke about on the date. It could be something funny you both laughed at. 

“Hey, Tim, I just saw a red balloon and thought about our fun conversation about the circus. Such a fun date. I look forward to seeing you again.”

If you have not been clear on the date that you’d like to see him again…

DO send him a follow up text, the sooner the better.

Example: “Hi Tim! That was so much fun. I’d love to do it again sometime soon.”

In conclusion, I believe you should communicate how you feel in person. Be as honest as you can be about whether you’re enjoying the date and whether you’d like to see this person again. If you do, say so. If you don’t, just be gracious and thank him.

If you are clear on the date, there’s no need to reiterate what you’ve already said. Let the man make the next move. He doesn’t need a reminder that you’re interested. Let me know what you think!

Video: Should she text after the date?

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