How to Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

Posted by in dating in midlife, understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

Want to learn how to stop dating emotionally unavailable men? My radio guest, Jonathon Aslay, shares great tips on how to date successfully after 40!

Want to learn how to stop dating emotionally unavailable men? My radio guest, Jonathon Aslay, chatted with me about this important topic. He is known as America’s Leading Midlife Dating & Relationship Coach. Jonathon is a defender and protector of women’s hearts around the world. He helps women transform from attracting Mr. Wrong into finding their Mr. Right. 

The author of Why Men Pull Away, Jonathon is like A GUY SPY to the male mind who truly understands the way a single or divorced man thinks and acts. He’s a master at helping women recognize and distinguish the difference between men who are emotionally unavailable from those who are truly ready for love. Highlights below for episode #250:How to Stop Dating Emotionally unavailable men with Jonathon Aslay. And don’t forget to check out Jonathon’s free gift below!

How to Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men


What does emotionally unavailable mean—from a man’s point of view?

There’s a misconception about what emotionally unavailable means. Men are capable of emotions. The challenge is that men are emotionally under-skilled. Women have been indoctrinated to talk about their emotions all their life. Men were taught to ‘be a man’, ‘toughen up’, ‘don’t show your emotions’. They don’t always know how to express their emotions.

Here’s the kicker: until he feels safe, he is never going to open up his emotions.

Men often pull away because there are inner conflicts going on. 

What happens with men as they age is that testosterone decreases and estrogen increases. All of a sudden, they experience emotions and can’t express them properly. If a man starts a date with sharing problems in his life, women often think he’s sharing his emotions. No. He’s sharing his problems, not his deep feelings. 

How do you define whether a man is commitment-ready or emotionally unavailable?

Signs that a man IS NOT commitment-ready

1. Just got out of long-term marriage and is in early stages is rarely ever able to step into a new relationship. They often experience transitional relationships before being commitment ready.

2. How is professional life or ability to support himself? If he’s going through financial struggles, he won’t feel like a provider/protector.

3. He has health issues. As we age, we start having healthy issues. If his are too big, he may not be ready for a commitment.

4. He has unresolved past relationship issues. If he is still stuck on his ex in any way, he is not ready for commitment.

Signs that a man IS commitment-ready

1. His actions match his words.

2. He takes personal responsibility for his choices. 

3. He pays attention to victim mentality. 

4. He has taken some space between any previous relationship. It takes 6 months to a year to heal.

5. He is self-aware. He has done personal growth work. 

6. He’s comfortable in his own skin.

What are some ways to find out whether he’s commitment ready?

You can ask these questions:

1. Tell me a little about your past relationships. What did you learn? What were the good parts? What were you most grateful for?

2. What books are you reading? (Tells you if he’s into self-growth.)

Jonathon offered our listeners a free gift!

Click to receive The 5 Qualities a Man Seeks in a Soul Mate

You’ll learn…

1. The one thing that’s more important than looks or beauty.

2. Whether or not it’s realistic to expect a man to be attracted to the same woman for a long time.

3. What changes when it comes to attraction and dating when we’re over 40.

4. What you can do to open up and become irresistible rather than resistant.

Listen to the episode here.

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