Why Strong Successful Women Have Difficulty Attracting a Quality Man

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strong successful women

Strong successful women: if you’re having difficulty attracting a quality guy, it might be because of this. Once you know what to do, he’ll fall for you.


My radio guest, Jaitara Ashlie, helps strong successful women step into Spiritual and Emotional Mastery with their sexual energy. She does this through online workshops, private coaching and retreats, by guiding them to create healing, spiritual alignment and empowerment within their sexual energy and how to masterfully weave that into relationships and through creative expression.

Jaitara healed her own past wounds from adolescent sexual exploitation and abuse. She’s now 60 years young, loving her sensuality, creativity and the healing gifts that channel through her. She is the author of the forthcoming book: “The Four Sacred Laws of Sexual Enlightenment”. 

You can read highlights of our show below about the key reasons why strong women have difficulty finding a quality man.

Why Strong Successful Women Have Difficulty Attracting a Quality Man


What was the catalyst moment that set you on this journey?

In 1999, I was living in Toronto, and across the platform on the subway was a sign on a billboard that said, “teenage prostitution/child abuse”. Until that moment, I didn’t realize I was a victim. That day, all the years of suppressed emotions came out. I felt like I would explode. I cried out, “God help me”. Just then, a bird landed by my window and flew away. I felt it was a sign, and I looked up this type of bird in my spirit animal guide. It said: to release emotions from the past and release it for the future. I let it all out for the next two days.

At the end, it was like a veil had lifted. I felt a new love for myself. I called friends and said, “guess what happened to me as a teenager”, because I had never told anyone before.

I still had more healing to do. And now, I love doing this work with women. I love helping women have a conscious new resource for the sacredness of sexuality, and how to consciously communicate when they are ready for a partner. (We have difficulty asking for what we want.)

Years later, I discovered breath work, originating from India, called the Breath of Life. This helped me release the rest of the emotions. 

I learned the Rebirthing Breath from my mentor. It’s like a built in vacuum cleaner (listen to the episode to learn more).

What is the biggest challenge you see with powerful women who are wanting to be in relationship?

When women go out to do business, we have to take on a bit more of the masculine essence to get the job done (being in control, leading, etc.). One of the biggest challenges is to relinquish the control and decision-making when going on a date. Polarities have to balance. Unless you want a man with a more feminine essence, you need to surrender to the feminine part of yourself.

Many strong women believe that the feminine essence is week. It’s quite the opposite. It’s very powerful. Also, a man wants to be the hero, and if you give him the space, the masculine in him will shine.  

To open up our ‘yoni’ (vagina, vulva, labia), we need to feel safe, that a man is grounded. Men need to spend time holding space for us in that way. Once that happens, the feminine needs to invite you in. She wants to be savored.


What is a simple but powerful bit of advice you can offer both men and women when making that first connection?

Don’t talk about work. Talk about what you’re passionate about instead. Where do you like to travel? Discuss what you love, and ask him questions about his passions and how he likes to spend his spare time. 

Being vulnerable can feel uncomfortable and inhibiting. What can a listener do to feel more at peace, grounded and empowered in their vulnerability?

If vulnerability scares you, take care of any emotional residue from your past so you can feel safe in your vulnerability. Do the work so you’re grounded and safe. 

To hear the entire episode click here.

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Photo: Pixabay


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