Dating: When to Text and When to Call?

when to text and when to callTechnology is a double-edged sword. Texting is easy, quick, and fun. But it can also serve as a substitute for real personal connection, and in my opinion, that’s when it fails miserably. I see many couples substituting texting for connecting authentically with each other. Misunderstood texts can ruin relationships.Whether you’re in the courting phase or in a long-term relationship, it can be confusing to figure out when to text and when you should just pick up the phone and talk or meet in person. So, how do you know when to text and when to call?

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Finding a Date in a Rural Area

finding love in a rural areaDear Sandy,

 I live in a rural area of Central Kansas.  Farm country.  The town I live in has 3300 people, and it is considered a “big” town.  I work on my own farm and am literally related to many of the people who live here.

I’ve tried several dating sites that match you up with a compatibly matched person.  Usually, my results show men that live 4 hours away in Kansas City or 3 hours away in Wichita.  I understand, that, like going to the grocery store, I’m going to have to have to make a drive, but 3 to 4 hours is a bit much!   I’m incredibly frustrated, as most dating advice assumes you live in a well-populated area where finding people to date is an easy task.

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Divorced, 43, and Over the Hill?

over the hillDear Sandy,

I live in New York, and was set up with a guy from Miami. He called last week to say he’s coming in this Thursday for a family event. He asked if I want to pick him up from the airport and spend the weekend at his nephew’s home with him. I actually was excited and agreed, since we had spoken several times on the phone and I got good background information about him from other people.  He seems like a very good very match for me. At my age and stage ~ I’m 43 with 6 kids and grandkids ~ I don’t have many choices of men to date in my community. I am also from a Chassidic background. If he lived in New York, there would be no question that he would pick me up. If the guy doesn’t really make it his business to pick me up then is he really interested in me? I keep thinking he comes from such a royal family and waits for royal treatment, and I feel desperate and lonely. I’m divorced, 43, and over the hill…


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Long Distance Relationships: How Far Would You Drive for a Date?

long distance relationshipsIt’s not simple to find a soulmate, is it? You’re looking for someone whose values and goals align with yours, someone with whom you will enjoy doing most things, from hanging out to laughing, and eventually growing old together. Oh, and don’t forget the importance of attraction. That’s a lot of things that need to line up, right? I am willing to make a big effort to find that special man, whether it be through online dating, singles events, or effectively asking for fix-ups. I am also open to traveling a distance to meet my match. He might live around the corner, but he might also live thousands of miles away. Long distance relationships can be challenging, but they can work if both people make the effort. That’s why I am always surprised when a man I contact online thinks that the 45-minute drive to my home is too much effort…

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Will Our Long-Distance Relationship Work?

Online dating exposes you to a world of online daters, and I mean ‘world’ in both its metaphorical and literal sense. Depending on how broad your search setting is, you can meet someone who lives around the corner or around the world. I have always set my search to be broad. My feeling is, if my soul mate is out there, how will I know if I don’t search everywhere? And why not make the best use of online dating, which can expose me to daters across the globe? So, what happens when you do meet someone who lives far away?

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