How to Disconnect from Toxic Relationships and Foster Healthy Ones

Toxic Relationships

A life-altering car accident taught author David Chatfield how to disconnect from toxic relationships and inspired him to write a book on happiness.

After a life-altering car accident, author David Chatfield learned how to disconnect from toxic relationships. He gained greater clarity about how to live an authentically happy life. He shares his knowledge in his book, Taking Control: Cracking the Code to Happiness

David Blake Chatfield began his career as an attorney and manager, representing global companies, music artists and producers, motion picture and television writers, producers, actors, and editors. He currently has his own law practice where he serves as General Counsel in several diverse companies, is the managing partner of The United Music Group, a partner in C & A Management, and owns Chatfield Entertainment.

I loved interviewing David on Last First Date Radio about How to Disconnect from Toxic Relationships and Foster Healthy Ones. You’ll find highlights of the show below.

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Dad’s Fallen and I Can’t Get Up: Reflections on Losing a Parent

my dadOn Monday, February 23rd, my father died suddenly after a brief hospitalization following a fall in which he broke several ribs. Losing a parent is difficult, but our relationship, like most father/daughter relationships, was complicated. He suffered from chronic depression and had multiple bone fractures and other medical issues. But during the last three years of his life, he was like Benjamin Button. He seemed to be getting younger and happier every day. He was more mellow, less angry, and more empathic. I’ll miss him.

As I was searching through my files, I came across an article I wrote about him in 2010. It’s called, “Dad’s Fallen and I Can’t Get Up”.  It’s about the last time he broke a rib, and how I dealt with the stress of being his caretaker.

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Why Are You Still Single?

why are you still singleOn Thursday, April 17th, I was a panelist at the Great Love Debate in Greenwich, CT. 100 of Fairfield County’s most dynamic SINGLE WOMEN. 100 of its most ELIGIBLE BACHELORS. Seated on opposite sides of one theater; brought together for one special night to answer one simple question: WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?” The Great Love Debate is a unique, interactive Town Hall-style event where 6 leading experts and an excited, engaged audience dish, discuss, dissect, and debate the current state of the date!

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7 Biggest Turnoffs On A First Date

turnoffs on a first date(The following article appeared in Better After 50 today.) Have you ever had a horrible first date? If you’re like most women, the answer will be yes. He looks nothing like his profile picture. He’s 50 pounds heavier, ten years older, or five inches shorter than he wrote in his profile. You can’t wait for the date to end.

If you notice any of the following 7 signs on a first date, chances are your date is not yet ready to be in a relationship. Or he just may be the wrong guy for you. Keep your eyes open for these turnoffs. And if you’re guilty of any yourself, making a few little tweaks could change your status from “single” to “in a relationship”.

7 Biggest Turnoffs on a First Date

1.   Bitter Bob. A guy who spews bitterness towards his ex and blames her for his misery is a huge turnoff. Why would you want to date a victim? It’s draining. And be sure not to talk much about your ex on a first or second date either. If he asks why your marriage ended, keep your answer short and switch to a different topic. You can say something like, “We tried to work things out in therapy, but we grew apart. I’m much more interested in learning about you.”

2.   Insecure Ira. When a person has low self-esteem, they are less attractive. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel good about him/herself. Confidence is sexy. That’s why it’s important to increase your own self-esteem before dating. It doesn’t really matter how young or thin look. What matters most is what’s inside. With confidence, you become magnetic to your ideal match.

3.   Fake Fred. A man who’s trying to be someone he’s not is a big turnoff. Keep it real, fellas. Don’t inflate your ego, your income, your height, or anything else. We’d much rather know the truth than be in a relationship with a poser. Same goes for you ladies. Get comfortable with the real you. The right guy will be attracted to your best self.

4.   Bad Hygiene Harry. A scruffy beard, bad haircut, sloppy dresser, body odor, and bad breath all fall into this category. Guys, please make an effort. Don’t you want to make the best impression on a first date? Please don’t show up on a first date looking like something the cat dragged in. We want to know that you care enough to look and act your best. And ladies, if your wardrobe hasn’t been updated in years, ask a fashionable friend to help you pick out some great date outfits. You want to look and feel your best.

5.   Chatty CharlieYou know the guy who talks through the entire date? He toots his own horn, touts his accomplishments, and doesn’t ask much about you. A relationship involves give and take between two people. Guys, make sure you ask her questions and listen to her responses. Ladies, if you’re nervous on a first date, you might talk too much. Make sure to ask him questions and listen to his answers, too. If he talks too much, you can gently interrupt and give your opinion. Chances are, he’s just nervous, too.

Continue reading at Better After 50…

 

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What a Pedicure Taught Me About Arguing in Relationships

arguing in relationshipsI am recovering from major surgery. Thanks to modern medicine, I was home the same day, taking walks around the block the very next day. I am grateful to be feeling stronger daily. But I’m a highly energetic person, and it’s not easy for me to relax and just take it easy. I did take the week off from work and I’ve been allowing my wonderful family and friends to take care of me. Tuesday, I decided to ramp up the self-care and pamper myself with a pedicure. Normally, I’m a pretty low-maintenance woman, and pedicures are a rare treat for me. I was psyched to sit in a relaxing chair for a half-hour, having my feet soaked, massaged and toenails polished. Mmmmm, luxurious, right? Not so much.

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