Am I in Another Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Her boyfriend bolts when life gets complicated. Is this another emotionally abusive relationship? Yes, and here’s how she can put an end to it.

Hello Sandy,

I have been in a relationship with a man for six years now, and this is the second time he has broken up with me. The first time was almost a year ago. He said he left me because of my daughter and her issues. I feel as though he left for an old girlfriend who happened to come back into the picture around the same time. After not communicating for a month or two, I broke down and contacted him because I missed him. I think after she found out we were talking again, he moved back to his home. He insisted that he didn’t leave me for her, but because my daughter’s issues were too much for him.

Read More

Why Do Men Disappear and Reject Me?

men disappear

Ever wonder why men disappear? Whether it’s after a few texts or phone calls, or even a few weeks of dating, when men disappear, it sucks. Try this.

Dear Sandy,

I think I am in the beginning stages of a new man disappearing. We’ve only been talking for five days. Wednesday and Thursday he texted me all day long, he called me, sent kiss emoticons. Today, I didn’t hear from him until I texted him this morning. His replies to anything I sent were short, no emotion, certainly no kisses. We haven’t met in person yet, but I already felt spoiled by his attention. So, I straight up asked him if something was wrong because he seemed distant today. I got no reply.

Read More

When She Said ‘No’ to Sex On Their Second Date, He Disappeared

he disappearedDear Houdini (my disappearing man),

Over the past year, I went on scores of first dates with men who talked about themselves too much (do I really need to hear about your genius grandson for the third time on a first date?). Men whose idea of first date conversation is ex-wife bashing, complaining about their dire financial situation, or talking about their aches and pains throughout dinner. Um, no, thank you.

Then, I met you on an online dating site. I was immediately drawn to your passion and zest for life, your keen intelligence and creativity, your manliness, and your sexiness. I felt alive with possibility!

Read More

Have You Been a Victim of Ghosting in Dating?

ghosting in datingHave you ever been ghosted? If you are not yet familiar with this term, the Huffington Post recently published an article about “ghosting” in dating. This excerpt explains the ghosting phenomenon.

After three months of dating, 23-year-old Michael was optimistic about his relationship with Linda*. They were together often, and he’d even met her parents. One night at dinner, the “where is this going?” conversation came up. Michael and Linda mutually agreed that they wanted to move forward in the relationship. He dropped her off at home, kissed her goodnight … and never heard from her again.

After his attempts to reach her went unanswered, Michael put on his cute-guy hat and delivered Linda’s favorite cupcakes to her office — only to find out his name had been removed from the guest list at the gate.


We used to call it disappearing. Now there’s a fancier trendier word. Whatever you call it, if you’re single at this age, you’ve probably been ghosted or a ghostee at some point in your life.

Read More

How to Stop Attracting Unavailable Men

unavailable menHi Sandy,

Last year I was contacted out of the blue by someone I had a long distance relationship with nearly 20 years ago!

I am naturally cautious, but being single and coming up to 60 (though most people think I’m at least 10 years younger), I thought “why not go for it, what have I got to lose?”

He lives about 3 hours away, so the distance is there but not so far.

The passion was still as great. I’ve stayed with him and he’s stayed at my place, I’ve met all his friends and he talked about us going to Paris, going sailing on his boat, etc.

This was six months ago. Then about a month ago I sensed a slight withdrawal/distancing from him and I tried not to be needy by calling too much. Then he finally phoned me and said that it wasn’t working out for him, our worlds are too different, and he can’t give me what I need/want.

Read More