Take Off Your Mask of Perfection & Unleash the Amazing YOU!

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

mask of perfectionDebra Smouse is an Intuitive Life Coach, Writer and self-admitted Tarnished Southern Belle. She believes in order to live life the way you were meant to live, you must fall in love with the day-to-day activity of living. Aren’t you ready to lay down the shackles of perfection and become enchanted with yourself? Isn’t it time you release the shiniest (and sexiest) version of yourself and become the person you were born to be? Darling, it’s time to become smitten with your own fabulously imperfect life. Time to take off your mask of perfection and unleash the amazing YOU. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of my radio interview with Debra.

Why do we hide our true selves?

Many people think they’ll be accepted and loved if they hide their true self. However, we harm ourselves – and our sense of worth – by trying to be perfect or morph into someone else’s idea of who we should be. If you don’t know your own core values, look at a list of possible core values. Feel in your heart which is a “yes”. Those will be your top values. Ask yourself, “What do i really want?” “What do I want to create in this world?” Those questions are important because they will begin to reveal the real you.

It’s exhausting to try and be perfect. You can be loved for who you are, and you will uncover the authentic you by peeling back peel back the layers you’ve created to hide your true self.

Why can self-growth be so painful?

There are cycles to growth. In order to grow, sometimes, everything has to fall apart first. Think of a tulip in the next phase of growth. The petals fall off. Only then can the tulip regenerate and grow again.

Sometimes when we get to midlife, we have spent months and years making sure everyone else is happy. Then we wake up and realize that there has to be more to life than this. Perhaps you avoid “mirrors” because you’re afraid to see who you’ve become or you don’t want to see how invisible you’ve become.

It’s time to start taking care of yourself. Are you eating well, exercising? Do you have a spiritual practice; meditating, praying? Are your needs met? Are you stressed or harried? Get more sleep. Busyness is another form of numbing. Focus on self-care and choice. Celebrate who you are. Remind yourself that you are valuable. Begin a gratitude practice and write down the best thing that happened to you every day. If you’re in a stressful situation and you’re a negative person, your neural pathways will go to the negative. When you create a gratitude practice, you create new neural pathways that are positive.

If you’ve been numbing yourself for years, how can you begin to reveal your true self in dating?

You may ask yourself, “What if people don’t like the “real me”?” At the beginning of the process of revealing your true self, it can be scary. You have a choice to put a layer or mask back on if it makes you feel safer and less naked. Remember that you only need to be vulnerable with someone who earns the right. Become the real you, but don’t do it all overnight.

What do you think is key to women who want to attract lasting love?

Learn to love yourself first, and the love you’ll attract will be your best love.

Click here to listen to the entire episode: Take Off Your Mask of Perfection & Unleash the Amazing YOU! Do you wear a mask of perfection? If so, how has it effected your love life? Please share your thoughts.


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