The #1 Problem with Singles Today

Posted by in breaking up with grace, love after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Suzanne MullerI loved having love coach, Suzanne Muller on my radio show this week! She is such a positive, upbeat woman and a great example of finding love once you put a few key principles in place. Over the past ten years, Suzanne has been engaged twice and never married. She’s been heart-broken, stood up, cheated on, broken up with—over text and voice mail, stalked and been on the delivery end of a few broken hearts. She’s dated multiple people at the same time and dated online. You name it, and she’s probably been through it! Today, she’s deeply connected to her heart, gifts and divine feminine energy, and lives with her amazing boyfriend Stefan in Switzerland in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio segment on the #1 problem with singles today – & how to quickly turn it around.

How did you meet your boyfriend, Stefan?

Stefan and I met in Cancun, Mexico on vacation. After a great conversation poolside, I asked if he’d walk on the beach with me. We were laying on our lounge chairs and something inside told me to jump. (Sometimes we must make the first move!) We swam with the dolphins and fell in love within four dates. Something inside told me to take a risk.

Previously, I was waiting for a man to travel. When I started taking care of my own needs, I traveled with a friend to Cancun.

How did you go from two broken engagements, 8 years of being a serial dating and going through everything you went through into a healthy and fulfilling relationship and now live in Switzerland? 

I had to release so much of my unresolved issues. I did a lot of that through a writing exercise. Once you get it out, you reset to zero. This is what you journal about: ‘What do I want to say about the relationship? What regrets did I have? What did I learn? What can I thank the person for? At the end of the exercise, find forgiveness to yourself or the other for not treating you well.

As a worldwide Dating and Love Life Coach with clients around the world, what is the #1 problem you are seeing with singles? 

Singles are trying to be liked and loved instead of figuring out who they are.

People are unprepared to date. Their hearts are unprepared. The work of cleansing opens you up to seeing love when it walks into your life. Honor your heart and develop the skills to attract and sustain a healthy relationship. You need to learn the art of forgiveness. I was cheated on and wrote a long letter. At the end, I wrote ‘I forgive you’. I even had the opportunity to send that letter to the man who cheated on me, and he asked for forgiveness!

What suggestions do you have for singles today that truly want love and a fulfilling partnership like you have?

1. I stopped talking to my single friends. I started talking to people in healthy, fulfilling relationships. If you’re always hanging out with your single friends and they’re complaining about their love lives, it gets you stuck in a ‘single-speak trap’.

2. Do things that you love now. Go on that vacation, wine tasting, take a class.

3. If people have leftover baggage, write out a letter to that person and you’ll release all that baggage. This will clear the way for love to enter your life.

To download this episode or listen to the podcast of the show, click here.

If anyone would like more practices or the steps Suzanne mentioned on the show, check out her book Loveable; 21 Practices for Being in a Loving & Fulfilling Relationship.

 

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