The Classless Jerk I Met on Tinder

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, online dating after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments


I have a love/hate relationship with Tinder. I love the ease of swiping right or left. Until I swiped right for this guy…

I have a love/hate relationship with Tinder. I love the ease of swiping right or left. It takes much less time than traditional online dating, where you’re scrolling through hundreds of profiles and reading essays. With Tinder, you can search for love over lunch, while getting your hair done, or on line at the grocery store.

As a dating coach, I try out most dating sites and apps to see how effective they are. I test-drive them for my clients, so I know which ones to recommend. And as a woman dating after my divorce, online dating is my primary way of meeting eligible men.

I was on Tinder a few years ago, and didn’t like it. I found that most men wanted to either hook up or hang out on Tinder, but not call or ask me out. I got off after a month or so. But, I recently had a conversation with my friend Melani, and she suggested I give Tinder another try. It’s the only site she’s on, and she’s met lots of professional, quality men.

So, I figured, why not give it a try again. I signed on, and this time I’m enjoying the experience much more. I am connecting with a few quality guys. Until ‘H’ messaged me. Here’s what happened…

The Classless Jerk I Met on Tinder

It started out innocently, with a few short benign messages. Hi, how are you, where do you live? Are you divorced, how many kids do you have, how old are they?

“I’m 6’2″. How tall are you?” “I’m 5’5″”, I answered. And then he asked if I like to wear heels. This is where the conversation went south.



Really? So soon, Mr. H? My response:



I’m not usually that snarky in online dating texts. When a guy is inappropriate or disrespectful, I click ‘un-match’ and move on. But this guy had crossed a line, and I was in the mood to have a little fun. I figured he’d get the message and just go away.

But, alas, here’s his response:


This is where I clicked the ‘un-match’ button. I was done with this classless jerk.

The sad thing is he doesn’t know what he did wrong. And he will definitely continue to talk to women about sex via text before they meet, thinking this is a good way to weed out the asexual old biddies.

Come on, classless jerky man. Don’t lead with your sex questions. If you just want to have sex, that’s your prerogative. At least be classy enough to treat a woman to dinner first. I think that’s the protocol in today’s world of online dating hookups. Pay for dinner = permission to jump her bones for dessert. Right?

In all seriousness, this guy was a jerk, and I’m glad I called him out.

And for all you online dating skeptics, online dating is not filled with 90% jerks, 10% nice guys. There are many good men online, even on Tinder. If you want to meet them, you need to sift and sort. Classless jerks fall by the wayside. Good guys get first dates.

Have you ever dated on Tinder? Please share your experience below.




  1. Online Dating Adventures: The Classless Jerk I Met on Tinder - - […] Originally published on Last First Date […]

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