The Danger of Being the Cool Girl

Posted by in dating in midlife, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

cool girl

Have you ever been the Cool Girl in dating, saying you’re fine when you’re not, not speaking up when you’re hurt? Watch this video!

Are you a Cool Girl? Do you pretend you don’t care when you really do? Do you act like you’re okay with the way you’re spoken to, when you’re hurting inside? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. In this video, we’ll explore the dangers of being the Cool Girl, and what you can do instead.

What’s a Cool Girl?

This term became popular in 2014 in the movie Gone Girl. Here’s an excerpt: 

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

Gone Girl Movie

The Cool Girl suppresses her needs and abandons herself because she doesn’t want to come across as needy or too much.

How She Shows Up in Dating

She may be true to herself at work or among friends who accept and love her, but with men she’s dating, she becomes chill in order to be accepted by him.

She drops her standards. She lets the man she’s dating set the tone and pace for the relationship. She goes with the flow, even when she’s unhappy or uncomfortable. She’s notorious for getting into noncommittal situationships, because she doesn’t ask for what she wants. She’s like a boat being steered by the captain, but she has no control of the direction or destination.

4 Steps to End Being the Cool Girl

1. Know your worth

2. Define your standards

3. Speak up and ask for what you want

4. Develop a thicker skin so you don’t take rejection personally

Watch the Video: The Danger of Being the Cool Girl

Have you ever acted cool in dating or a relationship when you were feeling anything but? Please share in the comments below.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy and explore how private coaching can help!

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Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.


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