The First Dating Conversation Tells You All You Need to Know

Posted by in dating after divorce, first date success, online dating after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

Pay attention to that first phone call: what’s said, what’s not said, and how it’s said. This is an important conversation, because it tells you pretty much all you need to know. People often reveal so much about themselves at the start of any relationship. They tell you what they think you want to hear, and they reveal other things that they may not even be aware of. If you pay close attention, you could save yourself months or even years of heartbreak. Here’s how…

Susie met Jack online. They had their first phone conversation a few days later. Jack told her many things on that first call that became a blueprint for their relationship.

Jack and Susie had a lot in common. In fact, they worked at the same place. Jack had never asked Susie out at work. But when he found her online, they began a dating conversation.

The fact that they knew each other from work was a big concern for Susie. What if it didn’t work out? She’d have to face him at work every day, and that could be awful.

But she overrode her gut feeling and decided to take a chance. After all, she had a crush on him for quite some time.

Jack told her that he wasn’t so good at relationships. He had been married twice, and he failed at subsequent relationships. He said he was emotionally unavailable. On the first phone call!

Susie heard that and went out with him anyway. He was so cute. They had so much in common….

Jack said he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for them to date. He was torn. He went back and forth on his decision, and finally texted her that he was sure.

This indecision proved to be disastrous for their relationship. He never stopped being indecisive. He pulled her close, then immediately pushed her away. This went on for months.

When the relationship finally ended, Susie was devastated. She had trouble eating and sleeping. She became depressed. Her self-esteem suffered.

She is finally getting therapy for her addiction to this man. She is doing much better, but he continues to haunt her thoughts late at night. And she still sees him at work, which is the hardest part of all.

Had she listened to that first gut feeling, she could have been spared years of pain.

Next time you meet someone for the first time, whether by phone or in person, pay close attention to your gut feelings.

Your intuition is so brilliant. Don’t push it away. Turn up the volume and save yourself heartache and pain.

Do you have a story to share about your gut feelings on a first conversation and how they played out in a relationship (for the good or bad)? Please share comments below.

xoxo

Sandy

 

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