The Five Love Lessons

Posted by in breaking up with grace | 0 comments

love lessonsDiana Ross said, “Love don’t come easy”. Yes, dating and relationships can be frustrating. It’s all about sifting and sorting, hoping, loving, breaking up, and picking yourself up over and over again. That’s why it’s so important to learn love lessons from each date and relationship. Those love lessons will help you stay focused on your goal to find love. Which of these five love lessons have you already learned?


The Five Love Lessons

Lesson #1: Don’t Blame Yourself
Most relationships are not meant to be for the long haul. Whether it’s the timing that’s off, a personality conflict, a long distance issue, or that your worldview differs, don’t blame yourself. That’s a waste of energy. Instead, figure out what you’ve learned. Breakups happen for a reason. Once you figure out the love lessons learned, you can apply that to your next relationship. That will make you a savvier dater, and your heart will not get broken as often.

Lesson #2: Pay Closer Attention to Red Flags
Each breakup teaches you about red flags. It’s important to learn to identify those red flags much sooner. For example, you wouldn’t have known about setting clear boundaries had you not been in a relationship with someone who didn’t respect them. Or you may not have known to stay away from a narcissist had you not been involved with one. Each relationship teaches you what you need in a mate. It also teaches you what you absolutely won’t tolerate in a future relationship. Once you apply the love lessons learned, you’ll pay much closer attention to red flags as they show up in future dates (and you won’t get your heart broken as often).

Lesson #3: Your Mate Won’t Save You
Unfortunately, Hollywood has perpetuated the myth of knights in shining armor and princes on white horses coming to save the day. In real life, your self-esteem attracts the quality of your mate. So, if your life is a mess, no one is going to save you or fix it. It’s up to you to work on getting your life together and raising your self-worth to attract the mate you deserve. I once dated a guy who said, “I don’t love myself. I was just hoping to find a woman to love me anyway.” While most people won’t be as blunt as that guy was, a lack of confidence is the biggest turnoff. So, if you’re not happy with an aspect of your life, take the steps to change it. Your confidence level will begin to soar, and that makes you magnetic to the right mate.

Lesson #4: Don’t Worry – Be Happy
You are the source of your own happiness. Too many people wait for others to fulfill them. So, when you realize that your prince or princess won’t show up to save you, your best bet is to figure out how to make yourself happy. You get to create a life you love. You get to be proactive and control the things you can, thereby making you a happier, more fulfilled person. When the right partner enters your life, you will both be independently happy, which will greatly increase your relationship success.

Lesson #5: Take Time to Heal
After a breakup, take time to heal. Take stock of the love lessons learned from that relationship. Take the time to figure out what makes you happy, and what will increase your confidence. Do the things you love. Don’t get into a rebound relationship, because you’ll probably keep dating the same person with a different face. How can you grow and learn if you’re constantly numbing yourself from pain by leaping into the arms of the next person? Taking time between breakups will make you much stronger and more resilient.

Are you taking stock of the love lessons learned from each date and each failed relationship? If you’re a good student of love, you’ll soon attract the love you deserve. What are you learning? Please share your stories below.

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