The Problem With Being a High Value Woman

Posted by in love after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

high value woman

Are you a High Value Woman or a Woman of Value? Sounds similar, but they are not. Learn the difference between the two in this video.

A few years after becoming a dating coach, I coined the phrase, Woman of Value. I even wrote a book about Becoming a Woman of Value. There’s another phrase in the dating coaching world, High Value Woman, and I’d like to distinguish the difference between the two.

According to dating coach Sami Wunder, following are five behaviors that count as High Value in a quality man’s eyes vs. the five behaviors of a Woman of Value according to yours truly!

High Value Woman vs. Woman of Value

1. A HIGH VALUE WOMAN knows that she is the prize in love.She can allow a man to pursue her and let him initiate contact with her because she feels worthy of his attention and effort.

1. A WOMAN OF VALUE knows her must-haves and deal breakers, and she doesn’t make excuses for poor behavior in men. She is not the prize in love. She values herself and is looking for a man who has clear standards as well. She’s does initiate contact, but she is not aggressive or pushy when doing so. She knows how to give men the ‘green light’ that helps men know it’s safe to ask her out.

2. A HIGH VALUE WOMAN actively and joyfully receives from a man (his time, attention, gifts) without feeling any obligation of returning to him in the same proportion. She knows her mere presence and company is gift enough for him. She is the feminine diva that he craves to be around.

2. A WOMAN OF VALUE knows how to graciously receive from men (even though it might be uncomfortable at first), and she’s also a giver. She doesn’t keep a running list of how much he gave to her in order to decide how much to give back. She knows that love has limits. So, she’s generous, and she has standards. As a man shows consistent interest and effort, she opens her heart much more. She is definitely not a doormat, nor is she a prima-donna!

3. A HIGH VALUE WOMAN comes from a place of inner confidence and high self-esteem and knows that she has choices when it comes to men, instead of acting from a place of fear, control and scarcity and treating a man as the last surviving male on the planet. This is where rotational dating helps tremendously.

3. A WOMAN OF VALUE consistently works on the three principles of Core Confidence as a Woman of Value: SHOW UP, STAND UP, AND SPEAK UP. She also knows she has choices when it comes to men, but she rules men in until they rule themselves out. She is willing to KINDLY walk away from men who are not the right fit. She doesn’t accept crumbs of attention and doesn’t try to make the wrong man into the right one by nagging and fixing. She is looking for a true partner, where they are both willing to nurture the relationship. 

4. A HIGH VALUE WOMAN has standards about how she wants to be treated and will not settle for “less-than” treatment from a man.

4. A WOMAN OF VALUE has standards of how she wants to be treated by ALL PEOPLE – not just men, and she kindly sets clear boundaries around men who are not a good fit or treat her poorly. If a man doesn’t respect her, she leaves the relationship.

5. A HIGH VALUE WOMAN puts her needs and her heart first, before she considers the needs of the man.

5. A WOMAN OF VALUE is not selfish and doesn’t always prioritize her needs before considering the needs of a man. However, she does practice self care, which means she fills her own cup before giving endlessly to others, including the men she dates. When in a relationship, she knows what to compromise on, and what is not negotiable. And she doesn’t twist into a pretzel to fit into anyone’s life.

Do you consider yourself a high value woman or a woman of value?

If you’d like to learn more about building the skills and confidence of a woman of value, join my monthly membership club. Learn more and join here for only $7 trial the first month!


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