The Secrets to a Deep, Loving Relationship

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loving relationship

Lance Secretan shares the secrets to his deep loving relationship so you can attract and create a love like theirs.

Lance Secretan is renowned worldwide as a prolific author of best-selling books on leadership, and as an advisor, coach, and mentor to leaders. He holds a masters degree from the University of Southern California and a Ph.D. in International Relations from the London School of Economics. He is the 1999 recipient of the International Caring Award from the Caring Institute.

Lance is an expert skier, kayaker, mountain biker, and avid trail hiker. He divides his time between homes in Ontario and Colorado.

I was honored to interview Lance on Last First Date Radio about his beautiful new book, A Love Story: An Intensely Personal Memoir about his 30-year marriage with his wife, Tricia, who passed away two years ago. You can find highlights of the show below.  

The Secrets to a Deep, Loving Relationship


What is the secret to a deep, loving, and sacred relationship?

1. Be curious.

2. Be happy and celebrate in your partner’s joy.

3. Have separate lives and yet only one life. 

4. Vulnerability.

5. Intimacy.

6. Devotion.

What rituals, habits, rules do you use to make your relationships stronger?

Relationships thrive when there’s a certain consistency of some things that you like and want to repeat. Play is very important. I travel a lot, and whenever I’d travel, Tricia would make a card and hide it in my luggage, and I’d hide a card by her shampoo or under her pillow where she’d find it. I have boxes and boxes of those cards. 

Some other rituals we had:

  • Sitting down and watching the sunset at the end of the day with a cocktail. 
  • Celebration of the full moon.
  • Kayaking, skiing, etc.

Surprises are also a wonderful ritual. They add to the intimacy and sacredness of your relationship.

How does “A Love Story” relate to business or other aspects of life?

I work with leaders in business. I have an intimate relationship with those people. About 60% don’t have a good relationship with their spouse (or their kids). I think the main reason is that their spouse is not number one on their list. Your partner has to be the most important person on the planet.

There are over 120,000 books on Amazon about leadership, and everywhere you look, leadership is broken. The mistake is, we’re looking at leadership the wrong way. It’s about inspiration. Great leaders are inspiring. We eat, drink, and read what inspires us. 

It’s all about building a relationship. You shop at Starbucks because you have a relationship with them. The deeper the relationship, the more powerful a customer experiences it. Therefore, good business is about powerful relationships. 

Two million dollar questions I ask leaders in corporate America:

  1. Is it inspiring?
  2. Would you do this with your spouse? 

Will this person be bigger or smaller with what I’m about to say? 

I loved this interview with Lance. His love story and his life story are both inspiring.

Buy his book here: A Love Story: An Intensely Personal Memoir

Listen to the interview here.

Or listen/download/subscribe to the show on iTunes here. 




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