The Secrets to a Lasting Loving Relationship Are…

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife, love after 40, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

lovingAndrea Quintero shares her secrets for how to forge a loving relationship, first with yourself, then with another.

Andrea Quintero’s passion is enabling leaders to unlock their greatest potential and achieve a deep sense of fulfillment. She has an MBA and a masters in Psychology (with research focus on leadership and mindfulness), and a strong background in medicine, microbiology and chemistry. Andrea has been studying the art of “enlightenment” for over 15 years. She is a self-awareness trainer/speaker/writer and founder of The Village, a University-based spirituality group.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Andrea on Last First Date Radio, about the secrets to a lasting loving relationship. Following are highlights of the show.

The Secrets to a Lasting Loving Relationship Are…


What is your definition of a healthy relationship?

The key to a healthy relationship is in the intent. Ask yourself why you WANT a relationship, not NEED one in order to be happy or feel secure. Then commit to doing the work. Both people come together with the intent of sharing each other and nurture that space from a place of compassion. Not with the intent of getting something from that person. 

Also come in with the intent of learning. You’re there to learn about yourself and your gaps and you’re there to learn about him.

It’s also important to fully express exactly what you’re feeling to one another.

What is your opinion on love?

Love to me is about passion (I’m from Columbia!). I perceive love as intangible, unmeasurable, coming from my soul. Hollywood has diluted how we perceive love. I don’t think most people know what true love is. It’s the ability for me to love myself first. That means stop judging myself. Stop the internal dialogues. Stop seeking approval. Nourish your being, and evolve emotionally and reach a higher level of consciousness. 

True love is accepting who I am and going from there. I value myself, even if I’m a purple dog with five legs. We are who we are. Don’t try to become someone else. It takes courage to be authentic. Only after we love ourselves can we truly love someone else. We all have a unique fingerprint. 

What are some practical ways that people can start loving themselves more?

Journaling is helpful. If you’re behaving a certain way and something doesn’t feel right, study that. Journal about it. You can express yourself without fear. The next step is to share those feelings that you discover with a friend. Also, work with an existential therapist if you can, although it will take about a year.

Reading is also helpful. I like philosophy books and Tibetan Buddhist books. Philosophy helps me understand where my thoughts and fears come from.

What are some of the challenges you have experienced in dating or relationships?

Authenticity and self-awareness were my biggest challenges. Having the courage that if I truly want a loving relationship, act from there and be raw and authentic. In the past, I had not been engaged in the experience, asking as many questions as I could. 

To listen to the episode, click here.

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