The Switch: How Not to Date
Two nights ago, my twenty-two year old daughter and I went on a mother/daughter date to see the movie, The Switch. The last few movies I had seen starring Jennifer Aniston were predictable and mediocre, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Could be because it was by the same people who did the brilliant Juno and Little Miss Sunshine. It felt great to laugh at the many funny scenes. But the biggest surprise for me was the poignancy of the messages in the movie.
For those of you who may not know, the basic story line is that Jennifer Aniston’s character, Kassie, is a single woman in her late twenties/early thirties who can’t seem to find the ‘one’. Her biological clock ticking, she decides to have a child out of wedlock through artificial insemination. Her donor is a stranger whom she selected based on his values and intellect, body type, good looks, and character.
She leaves New York City, her job, and her best friend, Wally, played by Jason Bateman, and moves to Chicago to raise her son. Without revealing too much more of the movie, let’s focus on Wally and his attempts to forge a relationship with women in New York City after Kassie moves away.
Wally, a good looking, witty, smart, successful guy is also neurotic, keeps his emotions guarded and is lousy at dating. One of my favorite scenes is when Wally is on a dinner date with a new woman. They start out with witty banter, and she is giggling, smiling, and flirting with him. Within minutes, the conversation tanks as he reveals his neuroses, fears, and paints a picture of gloom and doom. The woman’s face goes from joy to horror. I can totally relate!
How many times have you said things on a first date that you wish you hadn’t? Revealed too much too soon? And wondered why he didn’t call you back? Or you may have been on the receiving end of TMI. Either way, it’s not a pretty picture.
We often forget that strangers need to get to know each other slowly. Yes, your new love interest might be interested in hearing about your strained relationship with your parents, but not on a first date. Eating disorder? Not a good thing to disclose too soon. I am not saying that you should have secrets in a relationship. But the key word here is relationship. Once you’re in one, go ahead and share. But don’t scare each other away with the whole package revealed at the get go.
Take your time. Get to know each other. Timing is everything. Unveil your deepest darkest secrets slowly over time. You will be much more enticing. Oh, yeah, and go see The Switch. Let me know what you think!