Top 10 Myths of the Single Woman
Acamea Deadwiler is the author of The Top 10 Myths of the Single Woman. She spoke about how to be single and happy, and how to attract in the RIGHT man without settling.
My podcast guest, Acamea Deadwiler, is the author of Single That: Dispelling the Top 10 Myths of the Single Woman. She’s an accomplished writer and journalist who has appeared on the FOX television network talk show, MORE. Previously designated a Top 100 Contributor on Yahoo! with more than one million page views, Acamea’s work has been featured on many prominent media platforms.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio, you’ll hear:
- The top myths of the single woman
- Why men don’t receive the same negative messages about being single as women do
- How to successfully speak about why you’re still single to those you’re dating
- How to get comfortable with being alone
Top 10 Myths of the Single Woman
Why did you write “Single That?”
I started to notice the negative perception single women get, especially after 30 or 40. Single women are often seen as if something is wrong. Men don’t get the same stigma. I’m enjoying my life, and I’d love to find the right partner, but I won’t settle.
What do you think are some of the biggest myths of the single woman?
- There’s something wrong with you.
- You’re broken somehow.
- You’re lonely.
- It must be awful.
- You’re desperate.
- You’re willing to take what you can get.
How do you fill your life up as a single woman?
I took time to learn about myself after my last relationship. It’s important to be alone and find out who you are. I indulge in things I enjoy. I’m involved in writing and yoga groups. I travel and read, and I socialize and date.
Where do you think a negative perception of single women may stem from?
I believe most of it is societally based, that women should aspire to have children and a family. We haven’t taught boys the same thing. Men often think of the ‘ball and chain’ of marriage. If women don’t do ‘what they’re here to do’, they’re ostracized. It’s a lot better than it was. But it’s hard to break that stereotype.
How do you handle it if one of these misconceptions seems apparent while dating?
I try to address it respectfully if it’s presented respectfully. A lot of it is not the other person’s fault, but societal views. I met a guy online, and one of his first questions was, wasn’t I afraid of not having kids? He said I’d be 50 still looking for the perfect man. He made premature assumptions about me. He never asked questions. He found me attractive and thought something must be wrong with me since I wasn’t partnered. I told him I’d like to find a partner and be in love. I don’t want to settle.
If the person’s thought process is that narrow, it won’t work. If they are open and receptive, it may work.
What final words of advice do you have for single women who want to go on their last first date?
Be open and vulnerable, not guarded. Don’t get so comfortable as a single woman doing what you want when you want, because it may block you from love. Get happy on your own. If you’re not happy, do the work on yourself. Confidence is important so you attract the right people into your life.
Connect with Acamea on Instagram @Acameald
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