Transforming Bad Online Profiles – From ‘Ow’ to ‘Wow’
There’s an online dating site for just about any type of person these days, from dog-lovers to Trekkies. And while they offer different perks, there’s one thing they all have in common: bad profile essays. It is rare to read a profile essay that is well-crafted, engaging, and describes the unique qualities of a person. It’s bad enough when someone posts unflattering photos that are out of focus or scanned from their driver’s license (this really happened). Or how about the photos where he’s chugging a six-pack, embracing a member of the opposite sex, or posing in his wedding photo with his ex-wife cut out (again, not kidding)? So, how do you transform bad online profiles from ow to wow?
Transforming Bad Online Profiles – From Ow to Wow
Following are actual profile essays I found on dating sites. I’ll illustrate the before and after so you can see how to add some pizzaz and stand out in your online profile.
1. Before: im easy going, down to earth. enjoy hanging out drinking coffee driving
What’s wrong? I don’t know much about this guy except that he writes run-on sentences and has a typo in the very first word. He says nothing specific about himself except that he likes coffee (yawn), hanging out (double yawn) and driving (wow!). Words like easy going and down to earth don’t say much about him as an individual. Here’s an example of the same sentence brought to life.
After: I love the thrill of a spontaneous road trip in my red convertible, top down, a cup of iced Columbian roast in my cup holder, and ACDC blasting from my car speakers.
2 . Before: Loves Sushi, Yankees and laying out by the pool in no particular order…Passionate about my family, reading good books, traveling and animals.
What’s wrong? Yes, this essay has complete sentences, is less generic, but still says very little about this man and what’s important to him.
After: On summer weekends, you can find me lounging poolside, reading the latest James Patterson thriller. I like a side of spicy mayo with my tuna sashimi, and would enjoy sipping saki with a lovely woman. I’m just as comfortable eating a hot dog at a Yankees game as I am sharing a gourmet steak dinner with my three grown kids.
3. Before: I am single, confident, comfortable with my current life and would like to share it with someone else as well. I would like to meet a man who knows how to treat a woman.My career is important to me. But I do believe everything in life should be balanced and in moderation. My family and friends are important to me and I enjoy spending time with them.My ideal match is someone who enjoys life, family and friends, is socially responsible, enjoys the little things in life and loves to laugh.
What’s wrong? ‘I am single.’ Why else would you be on this site? Same with saying she’s confident. Remember to show, don’t tell. Write about something that conveys confidence. ‘I would like to meet a man who knows how to treat a woman.’ What exactly does she mean by that? It also sounds a little demanding. Begs the question, has this woman been treated poorly by a man? ‘My career is important to me.’ Why? What do like about your career? You get the drift; be specific, be interesting, and set yourself apart by stating what makes you unique.
After: I know what music I like, but don’t ask me the names of any songs. I enjoy fiction – such as the dating profiles of ex-boyfriends, and mysteries – such as whatever happened to those ex-boyfriends… I own an Alaskan Husky, and love blue eyes on humans, too. I’m happy with my job as an interior designer, but the man in my life will have top priority. I love to take off time from work for some R & R, and enjoy a bike ride in Central Park as much as dining on sushi in SOHO. I inherited my mom’s green eyes and my grandmother’s ability to cook a mean pot roast. I can prepare chicken ten different ways and hardly ever use recipes. My friends come to me for advice, my kids come to me for spending money, and if you play your cards right, you’ll be invited to a barbecued steak dinner at my place, serenaded by my ipod playing Pink Floyd. Or was that The Who?
Do you get a better sense of who this woman is? Do you get her humor without her telling you that she’s funny? Do you see that she likes her job without her telling you that, and that she values family by her actions? Much more powerful!
Online profiles are the first impression you make on a dating site. So, if you are tired of attracting the wrong men and you want better results, transform your online profile!
If you can’t write your own, consider hiring a professional. To find out more about my online profile writing services, please check them out here.
And remember, if you want to immediately turn around your online dating success, sign up here for my FREE report.