Two Great Loves in One Lifetime

Posted by in dating after divorce | 0 comments

I lost count of the eulogies at the funeral yesterday for David Hollander, my friend Phyllis’ 93 year-old father. If the family hadn’t ¬†given specific orders to limit the remarks, the funeral would have probably extended much longer than the hour-and-a-half. What made David Hollander such an amazing man? Something quite simple and yet very profound: he was happy with his lot, always had a smile on his face, and made you feel like the most important person in the world.

It’s not surprising that he had two loves; his first wife was in a car accident over 25 years ago, and died after a 2 1/2 year coma. Alone for many years, David found love once more, this time with Faye, and they blended families, yielding many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to keep their lives full, busy and happy.

While many people have trouble making one marriage work, David Hollander had two successful marriages. I venture to guess that the secret to his success was his positive, loving attitude.

He knew how to overlook the small stuff and see the best in the people in his life. That’s a rare skill!

I looked forward to my visits to Phyllis whenever her dad was visiting. Mr. Hollander had a way of making me and my young kids feel happy and special. He was the real deal; never a fake smile, never a false sentiment uttered. He liked to somehow balance my young children in the palm of his hand, which delighted them (and me)!

I share his story to inspire you to take away a little piece of this great man’s life.

Practice being happy. Practice changes habits. Don’t focus on what’s not working, but on what you have to be grateful for in your life.

Trust me, there are always blessings in your life that you may be overlooking or taking for granted.

When it comes to your dating life, these principals are equally apropos. What guy is not looking for a happy, content, easy going woman? If you read men’s online profiles, most of them say that they are seeking a woman with those very character traits, the same ones that made David Hollander such a beloved husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather and friend.

I’m not asking you to fake it; just to practice a change in focus if you’re a negative person. If you already have a happy disposition, what can you do to up the ante on a date?

In David Hollander’s memory, I am making a promise to focus on the best in the people in my life. I will say something nice to my children, my parents, my friends, and even the cashier at the grocery store. I will smile more often.

I will acknowledge any new man in my life, whether it’s on a first phone call or a first date, there’s always something positive to take away.

What will you do differently?

As the Ethics of the Fathers stated over 2,000 years ago, “Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot.” David Hollander was indeed a very rich man. How rich would you like to be?



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