Using Archetypes to Gain Clarity About Your Ideal Mate

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40 | 0 comments

Want clarity about your ideal mate? Identify core values, and use archetypes to heal from past trauma, says Theresa Vargo, relationship health coach. 

My radio guest, Theresa Vargo, spoke about how to gain clarity about your ideal mate. She’s the founder and creator of the Art of Intimacy. She is a relationship health coach, intuitive guide, and spiritual advisor. Her career as a photographer, spending many years behind the camera, photographing weddings and families, led her to the path of intimacy, sexuality, and relationship health.

In the process of healing her own pain, she has left no stone unturned when it comes to emotional health and happiness.

I loved our interview on Last First Date Radio about using archetypes to gain clarity about your ideal mate. Check out highlights of the show below.

Using Archetypes to Gain Clarity About Your Ideal Mate


What pain did you have in your life that led you to this work?

It’s important to heal our own pain. We have to acknowledge our pain in order to heal it. We need to feel deeply and mourn and grieve our trauma.

I married a man who was chronically ill, and a few years later, he passed away. I nurtured him through sickness, and couldn’t explore my own sexuality and needs in the relationship. As an empath, I was drawn to being a caretaker, but that wasn’t healthy for me.

I remarried about eight years after, to a man who was shut down sexually. We had a ten-year relationship with no sex, until one day, I woke up to the pain of that. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I had to deal with my pain.

It’s been about eight years since my second divorce. I dove deep to shift into who I am today. 

How can you clarify the qualities you should be looking for in a potential partner?

First, understand what you value most. We all have core values. If you step out of them to accommodate someone else’s needs, the relationship will fail. Ask yourself, “What do I value in myself? What do I value in other people?”

Ask, “Where do my values live in my body?” Use your breath, and breath in. Drop into where your values live in your body. Name your values that bubble up. Integrity? Trust? Success? Self-care? Intelligence?

Make a list of what comes up for you, and you will have identified your core values.

Can you tell us about archetypal roles we play in dating, and how they can help in the dating process? 

You can play in the role of an archetype, such as any of the following; lover, playmate, friend, partner, life partner, goddess.

Identify what you’re here to learn about yourself in this relationship . For example, “I want to be a playmate” or a “Goddess”. When you take on a role, you’ll stand in your power and get to know yourself more intimately. It’s a great healing tool. 

It helped me heal from being called a slut for having high sexual energy. When you have your needs met, you get to live in your light. You get to live in grace and pure resonance with who you’re meant to be. 

Listen to the entire juicy episode here.

Find Theresa on FACEBOOK:

Here and here

NOTE: It’s really really important to have our podcast reviewed.

If our show has provided value or helped you in any way over the years, please: 

1. Leave us a review on iTunes and share how the show has helped you or inspired you to move ahead. Here’s our show on iTunes.

AND, here’s a quick tutorial on how to leave a review via your computer or phone

2. Share with your friends, family and colleagues. If you’ve got people in your life who are looking for a good dating and relationship podcast to subscribe to, recommend Last First Date Radio!



Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.