[VIDEO] The Worst Dating Advice for Women Over 40
There’s so much bad dating advice for women over 40, it can be crazy-making. This video outlines the 5 worst dating tips and what you should do instead if you want to find love.
Unfortunately, there’s a ton of bad dating advice for women over 40. It can be overwhelming and confusing to date at this age. To compound the issue, much of the advice out there is contradictory. “Never make the first move.” “Women should ask men out.” “Wait 24-hours before texting him back.” “Text back that day or he’ll lose interest.” How do you make sense of all of the advice out there?
In this video, I share the five worst dating tips…and what you should do instead if you want to find true love.
The Worst Dating Advice for Women Over 40
1. Play hard to get.
What that looks like: Don’t be too available; wait 24 hours before texting back; never accept a last-minute date; and play games to keep him interested.
Instead: Be straightforward. If you like him, say yes to a second date. Have a full enough life, that you’re legitimately not available at the last minute. If you want a few days notice for a date, ask him.
2. Go out with every man at least three times, even if you don’t like him.
If you’re dating men you don’t like over and over again, it just leads to burnout. You may even give up on dating altogether.
Instead: Know your-must haves and deal breakers. If he has some of your must-haves and none of your deal breakers and you enjoyed the conversation, go out with him again. If you’re not feeling instant attraction, that’s actually a good thing. Know that attraction can grow from a 5 to an 8, but rarely from a 0 to a 10. So, if you can imagine kissing him one day, date him again!
3. You’ll find love when you least expect it.
Just wait for love to show up? Why would you be passive if you want to find love? You’re not passive in any other part of your life, are you?
Instead: If you want to meet someone, ask your friends to set you up on a blind date, join a dating site, or go to a meetup. Get out of your comfort zone. Smile and speak to men every day. Compliment them and ask for help. Whatever you do, don’t be passive.
4. Don’t talk about God, sex or politics on a first date.
This is based on the belief that certain topics are for better discussed when you get to know each other better. I used to abide by this dating ‘rule’, but I now feel differently. Why?
Instead: First dates are for learning about each other. Many times, you walk away from a first date with little knowledge about you date. And while you don’t want to share your deepest psychological wounds, because that’s too much too soon, you do want share more about yourself to get to know one another.
If your first-date conversation leads to God, sex, or politics, you’re going to learn about his worldview and core values. As long as you respect each other, you’ll gather important information that will help you decide whether to date him again.
5. Women should never make the first move.
This is one of the biggest misconceptions of all. Dating ‘rules’ have women twisting themselves into manipulative fakes to get a guy to pursue them.
Instead: I believe women should make the first move in helping create a safe space for men to make the next move and pursue. What that looks like is letting men know you’re interested. In online dating, send the first message. In offline dating, smile, make eye contact, and initiate conversation. Let a man know you’d love to have coffee sometime.
Be confident in who you are so that when the right person comes along, he can appreciate the real you.
What’s the worst dating advice you’ve ever heard? What’s the BEST dating advice you now follow?