She Wants to Know: Does He Love Me?
I have a question about a man I know. He has flirted with me, stares at me across the room, looks me up and down, stares at my face, lingers around me, asks trivial questions, says my name all the time, gets nervous and blushes around me, big smiles, jokes around. But one day he mentioned his girlfriend. It was forced and not related to the conversation. Since then, he has been intentionally rude to me, ignores me and glares at me – yet continues to stare at me across the room and try and get my attention. What is his deal? Does he love me or hate me? Thank you for your time.
“Does he love me?” you asked. You say he’s attentive, he stares at you, and he gets nervous around you. I’m not sure how old you are, but when I was in my teens and early twenties, I used to confuse attention for love, too. Just because a man stares at you and blushes when he’s around you does not mean he loves you. He probably likes you. He flirts with you. He thinks you’re hot. But that’s not love.
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.”
Love is much deeper than flirting, blushing, and attention. Love is about giving as well as receiving. It’s about being vulnerable in a relationship that develops over time. It’s about being an alignment with someone’s values, sharing a world view, and being physically attracted. Love is complex.
Does he love me?
No, Jasmine, he does not love you. He might lust for you. He might think you’re sexy. But flirting is not love. Attention is not love.
A little flirting is harmless. But a man who is intentionally rude to you? I suggest that you stop hanging out with him. Spend time with people who are kind, who treat you with the respect you deserve.
And when you’re in a truly loving relationship, you will not have to ask, “Does he love me?”