What Keeps Women Single?

Posted by in single women over 40 | 3 comments

single woman lookingHi Sandy,

I’m a guy with a question that I think most men would also ask.  

Why don’t single women–who want a man in their life–look at us with interest like we do with them? Eating at a restaurant, walking through the mall, grocery shopping, walking down the sidewalk, women just don’t look, glance over, like we do. 

And, yet, they go on and on about being single. 

Thank you,


Dear Perry,

I love that you asked this question. It’s short and to the point, and I agree that many other men have been frustrated about this, too. I also think it behooves women to pay attention to both the question and the answer.

What keeps women single?

Perry, I used to be that single woman who turned away from the attention of men. It made me uncomfortable. I thought that if I smiled back or made eye contact with a guy, it was like an open invitation for sex. I didn’t realize that being flirty and friendly is not just about sex. Flirting is essentially about being playful, and it’s a good idea for single women to be open to the attention of men. Well, men who are appealing, not creepy.

I was also shy back in the days of dating in my twenties. I think shyness is another reason why many women refrain from looking back at men. They’re just too reserved and uncomfortable about what to do.

Unfortunately, by ignoring men who glance their way, women are missing out on a great opportunity to meet single men. How many times have I been asked the question, “Where are all the great guys?” Ladies, they’re everywhere. They are interested in you. If you would only return their glance with a smile, you’d let eligible men know you’re interested in starting a conversation. Just ask Perry!

That conversation could lead to a date. It could also go nowhere, but at least you made an attempt. You get an A for effort.

The next time a cute guy glances their way, women should do these 6 things:

  1. Take out your ear buds if you have them in
  2. Put down your phone/book/ipad/kindle
  3. Make eye contact with him
  4. Smile
  5. Turn your body towards him to show that you’re open to a conversation
  6. Flirt and go for it!

Thanks again for your question, Perry. I hope many women read this article and heed my advice. Perhaps a few less people will be single after this weekend of eye contact and flirting!



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  1. Unfortunately, we live in a world where women are still expected to be chased and men are expected to be the chasers. It seems that both sexes complain about this but both sexes still ascribe to these roles. I can’t wait until the world of sexual equality catches up with the dating world.

  2. Thanks for your comment, Aaron. I agree that when it comes to gender roles, we are still stuck in caveman times. I am not certain we’ll ever change. I am of the belief that these roles are so ingrained, it’s primal. But who knows… Lots of things have changed drastically over time. It would be interesting if the genders ever catch up to equality in relationships.

  3. Aaron, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m not sure that we’ll be equal in dating for a long time. I think gender roles in relationships are very primal. It will be interesting to watch the next generation date and get married.

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