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What to Do When Your Ex Finds New Love - Last First Date | Last First Date

What to Do When Your Ex Finds New Love

Posted by in breaking up with grace, dating after divorce, love after 40 | 0 comments

your ex finds loveWhether you left him or he left you, it can be upsetting when your ex finds new love  and you’re still single. Recently, my client “Doris” learned that her ex got remarried. Even though she left him, she was filled with many mixed emotions: Shock that only a short time after their breakup, he was getting remarried. After the initial shock, she felt joy for him, that he found a woman who seemed like his perfect match in so many ways. And she felt a sense of peace and affirmation that she had made a good decision by breaking up  with him. They were not a good match at all, which is why she left him in the first place. But when you watch your ex move on and find love, it’s easy to second guess yourself. Am I too picky? Why is everyone falling in love but me?

What to do when your ex finds new love?

If you left him and his moving on has made you question whether you made the right choice, remember why you left. Doris recalled that her ex was needy. He had just been divorced a short time when they first met, and his wife had been emotionally abusive for the last 10 years. As a result he was in therapy, but he had a lot of unhealthy habits that were still lingering. Doris was searching for a man who was emotionally ready for an interdependent relationship. Her ex wasn’t in the same place, so she split.

If he left you, you may be feeling like you’re unlovable. Think of reasons why that relationship would not have worked out. Was he accountable? Did he cherish you? Did he make you feel safe – emotionally, physically, and spiritually? Chances are, the breakup was a gift to you. If you learn from every relationship, you can make internal shifts and grow from each encounter.

Every woman I’ve coached who has been dumped or dumped the wrong man has moved on to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Many have found their true match by letting go of the one that wasn’t meant to be.

Your love life is unfolding as it should

If you are getting out and meeting men regularly, both online and offline, and you’re learning and applying those lessons to every future encounter, you will find love. If you are doing everything in your power to maximize your dating and love life, your true love will show up. You will know how to recognize him. And you will know how to build the best relationship with him.

Good karma given = good karma received

If you can wish your ex well, literally by emailing or calling him, or figuratively by sending him good thoughts, you will create good karma. When you come from a place of love and forgiveness, you will radiate that love out into the world. And you receive that love and good karma back.

So, when your ex finds new love, be happy for him. He was not meant to be your true love. His moving on has created the space for the right guy to show up in your life.

xoxo

Sandy

 

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