When and How to Set Boundaries in Dating

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boundaries in dating

Do you know how and when to set boundaries in dating? In this video, you’ll learn why boundaries are so important…even before the first date!

A woman in my Facebook group posted to the group about having a picnic date for a first meet/date with someone she met online. She was concerned about the food being ‘spiked’ with a date rape drug. Here’s what she said:

1st date Picnic Question:

I feel a bit uncomfortable having a 1st date/meeting picnic after learning of a good friend’s drink (she is 53) was spiked at a busy club (in New Orleans) and her subsequent abduction and rape.

I went on a picnic date a month ago and only ate/drank what was sealed and opened in front of me. The guy seemed miffed that I skipped all the other things he brought. We did not go on a 2nd date for other reasons.

A 2nd guy just asked me on a 1st picnic date. And while I told him in advance by phone that I’d prefer to open any store-bought food/drink together (citing safety, not knowing him at all and trying to laugh and keep it friendly), I was not feeling good about him as he seemed to not really understand why that would be a concern.

And while he agreed to it, he jokingly said he would be bringing that up again to tease me for the whole date. He was pretty suggestive in his emails and texts about the picnic just being the start…so with those two factors creeping me out, I just canceled the date (4 hrs before) and got a bad response text from him. I promptly blocked him from my phone.

That’s OK, he is not my guy.

But, I am finding no mention of anyone’s concern about this practice online anywhere. Am I just being too cautious?

I don’t think this is a food safety issue as much as it’s a failure to set boundaries in dating.

I responded in this video about when and how to set boundaries in dating:

When do you set boundaries in dating? BEFORE you ever go on a date. You must figure out what you’re comfortable with, and what doesn’t work for you. And speak up. Let a man know that, for example, while a picnic sounds like a lot of fun once you’ve been dating someone, you’re more comfortable having drinks/coffee/a walk in a public place, etc. on a first date.

Have you ever been uncomfortable with a man’s first date suggestion? If so, what did you do about it?

Please leave a comment and let me know!


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