Why Are You Still Single?
Vince Guaglione, author of, “Why are you still single?” discusses what he learned about being single, divorced, and struggling to find love.
My podcast guest, Vince Guaglione, saw a post in a Facebook group asking, “Why are you still single?” This prompted him to write a book on the topic. Find out what he discovered in this episode of Last First Date Radio.
Vince is a guy who asks lots of questions, not only of himself, but also of his society and the world around him. Although he claims he’s found no real answers, that hasn’t stopped him in his quest to gain perspective on a little something we call life. Originally from Philadelphia, Vince now resides in Raleigh NC.
EP 403: Vince Guaglione – Why Are You Still Single?
Where did the idea for the ‘Why Are You Still Single?’ book come from?
Someone posted ‘why are you still single?’ in a Facebook group I was in. People seemed to understand why they were single, but they weren’t really doing anything about it.
What I learned by reading the replies is that we as singles have a variety of issues that prevent us from achieving what we ultimately want – something real and lasting.
We know what our issues are but don’t seem to be doing much to fix our problems, and because of this, there are ramifications for us as singles and as a dating collective.
What is our biggest problem as a collective?
We don’t know ourselves well enough to know what we want, what we need, and how dating fits into our lives.
How do we fix these problems so we become better as daters?
Look at the values you want, the type of person you want, etc. You have to understand and admit your shortcomings. Know your triggers. Sit with yourself. Begin the process of self-reflection and improve yourself as a dater.
In your own life, what did you do to transform and prepare for your partner?
I’m short, and as a teenager, I saw how much shorter I was than my friends, and they were getting the girls, and I wasn’t. I adapted the belief I wasn’t good enough. As a 30 year old divorcee, I worked with a coach who helped me realize things might be tough, but I can do something to work through my issues. I was a late bloomer in life.
How do you feel about people dating during the pandemic?
In the current environment, it’s actually a good time to date, even though we may not be able to have official face-to-face first dates, because it forces us to take our time to get to know others, and explore different aspects of connecting that we may gloss over when we can have that instant first date. Use text, phone, and video chatting to connect. We’re forced to ask more questions and get to know people better.
What are your final words of advice for people who want to go on their last first date?
It’s very important to be authentic. Don’t be afraid of being misaligned with other’s expectations of you. Don’t hide the vulnerabilities and truth of who you are.
Connect with Vince
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