Why Is it So Hard to Find Lasting Love Today?

Posted by in dating in midlife, love after 40, single women over 40 | 5 comments

Pam 7-2015Pamela Vandervoort is the owner and founder of Dating for True Love. In this high-tech world that has inundated singles with so many dating choices, it has become very hard to find a clear pathway to love. Pamela shows you how to avoid heartbreak and random dating and discover the secrets to attracting and creating lasting love.

Pamela has her Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Studies and a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology. To find out her proven system for finding your true love go to http://www.datingfortruelove.com

I enjoyed interviewing Pamela Vandervoort on Last First Date Radio. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of the show, Why Is it So Hard to Find Lasting Love Today? 

Why Is it So Hard to Find Lasting Love Today?

Why does it seem so difficult for people today to find and keep love?

There are more singles than ever before and so many mediums to find love like online dating, speed dating, and meetups. But the reason it’s so hard is because how we view relationships and what we’re looking for is so different. People used to get married in their twenties and stayed married. Today, people are looking for true love, fulfillment, not security. It’s much easier to get married for security and fulfillment. 

What would you say to a woman who says, “I don’t need a man”?

That’s actually awesome. She doesn’t need a man, but wants to enjoy his company and have him contribute to her life. Then what happens is the belief that there’s scarcity. He doesn’t exist. 

Women really are afraid to be vulnerable. They don’t make time even for themselves. They think it would be needy to not be everything to all people. We’re not meant to be an island. 

Instead of being housewives dependent on their husbands for everything, they are self-reliant. It’s okay to be vulnerable and let someone take care of you and help you. Master those conflicting desires to fulfill yourself in your career and open yourself up to being vulnerable in a relationship. 

Know what your emotional needs are and know how to ask for your partner to meet those needs.

How do I get started dating and not waste my time dating people I don’t like?

Online dating can be a time suck with very little reward and one of the most efficient ways to meet people. 

1. Get clear on what you want.

2. Clear up any fears and stuff from your past.

3. When online dating, wink at men. Let them respond. “The man chooses the woman who chooses him.”

The biggest tip is not to get impatient. The more impatient you become, the longer it takes. So many people are so excited at the beginning. Then they go on a date and the guy doesn’t call again. They get discouraged and stop dating. It usually happens right before the big breakthrough. You will have obstacles along the way. Anything big you want has obstacles. People power through setbacks in business, but setbacks in the heart can cause women to shut down. Develop a more resilient attitude.

I loved this interview! Pamela spoke about many paradoxes present in dating today. But with the proper mindset and guidance, you can find true love and find the balance between paradoxes.

Listen to/download the episode here.



  1. Well today it is very extremely hard for many of us good men out there looking for a good woman to settle down with, and with so many women that have Changed over the years certainly makes it very difficult for us really finding love. In the 50’s and 60’s it would’ve been much better finding love in those days since the times were much different than now.

  2. thanks for sharing your thoughts. While it may be difficult to find love today, it’s not impossible. People are finding love every day. Women have changed, and so have men. We need to learn to understand each other and be compassionate towards one another. That’s how we can find love today.

  3. I know that i made this comment over a year ago which i will fully explain the truth why it is very difficult today for many of us good men still looking especially when we went through a divorce since our wife turned out to be a real pathetic loser when we were cheated on which i know i am certainly not alone. Now unfortunately this is a totally different time today that we live in since society has changed for the worst and so have many women unfortunately as well. Today it is very hard to approach a woman that many of us men find very attractive since i was cursed out by a woman that i really wanted to meet since i really thought at the time that she was very nice to meet which i was very wrong on that. Oh well it was just my luck to meet a woman that was either abused by a man at one time or she just happened to be a very mentally disturbed woman that i didn’t know about which as you can see how hard it is for many of us men these days trying to find real love again after what happened to us. I know a friend that had it happened to him as well unfortunately which makes it very scary how the women have really changed over the years when most of the women in the old days weren’t like that at all since they had good manors, a good personality, polite, and much easier to talk too the way that our family members had it back then since they were very extremely blessed in those days to have met one another which explains why many of us are here today thanks to them. Now that many women have a career today it made it worse since many women today are making a six figure income and now they’re very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and very money hungry as well since they will only want the best of all and will never settle for less which makes them very pathetic altogether. And a lot of us men were the very faithful ones in our marriage since many of us which i will speak for others as well treated our women with a lot of love and respect since we were very committed to our women at one time which it still wasn’t good enough for them as well. Now with all these reality shows that they now have on TV just adds to the problem as well as the Media that gives us men a bad name too. So i had to explain why today as you can see is a totally different story for many of us men trying to find real love all over again. At that time when this woman cursed at me which all i said to her was Good Morning which that certainly unfortunately turned out to be a very bad mistake for me. Now you can see how much of a Challenge it is for many of us men trying to find love all over again since it really does take two to tango. Thank you very much for your support. Peace.

  4. I understand your frustration with the women you’ve been meeting. And I’ll tell you the same thing that I tell my female clients: if you keep on getting the same results in dating, the only common denominator is you. Either change how you’re approaching, or change your approach. In any relationship, there are always things we do to contribute to the issues. Take responsibility for your contribution, and you’ll change your luck at love.

  5. My approach was very good by the way which unfortunately i keep meeting Low Life Loser women all the time which i really Can’t Blame myself at all since it is the women that have Changed for the Worst over these years that really make it Very Difficult for many of us Good men especially when many of us didn’t do anything wrong on our part to begin with. These type of women do have very serious issues with us men the way that i look at it since we have No Reason to blame ourselves at all. Now unfortunately many women are either Gay And Or Bi these days which could really be the problem since many women now do Hate us men today since they really had a very Bad Experience with men at one time which really would explain it as well. This will be my last comment which once again i thank you very much for your support which i will Never give up on finding Real Love.


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