Why Is it So Hard to Find the Right Guy?

Posted by in dating in midlife, red flags in relationships | 2 comments

find the right guy

Cynthia wonders, “Why is it so hard to find the right guy?” It’s not what you might think. Listen to this episode to hear me coach her.

In this episode, I coach Cynthia, a 52-year-old divorced woman who wonders if she’ll ever find the right guy. She has been in several relationships since her divorce, staying too long with men who are missing some of her must-haves, and she is concerned that she’ll never find the right partner. If you’ve ever stayed too long with the wrong partners or worried that you won’t find the right partner for you, listen to this episode!

Cynthia applied to be coached live on Last First Date Radio. Here’s what she wrote:

“My name is Cynthia and I am 52 years old. I’ve been divorced for six years after a marriage of 20 years. I’ve had several relationships since my divorce, three that were over a year.

I’m getting better at realizing my mistakes – settling for a man who was missing items on my needs list, such as having equal or greater intelligence as me, another who wasn’t in love with me, but enjoyed me as a ‘companion’, as well as a man who not only disagreed with me on my Covid vaccine opinion, but insisted on arguing about it during every conversation. 

In between these longer relationships, I’ve had a few short, like 90 day relationships that were based on electric chemistry and little else, and made me fall in love (lust?!) really quickly only to have my heart truly broken once I realized that we were just not a match. On the other hand, I’ve also had a few short relationships where he was so infatuated with me and he showered me with so much attention, affection and gifts that I felt smothered and turned off. 

Goldilocks needs that ‘just right’ balance of mutual passion and shared values. This just right man may be in front of me (I’m better at not investing with one man too soon and I’m currently texting 5 men) but perhaps I’m not allowing my heart to open fully…

EP 526: Live Coaching with Cynthia – Why Is it So Hard to Find the Right Guy?

Why can’t she find the right guy?

I identified that Cynthia:

  • Overlooked deal breakers
  • Settled for the wrong men
  • Fell for the spark/chemistry and couldn’t see the red flags
  • Didn’t open her heart open to let love in

Listen as I coach Cynthia to identify why she overlooks red flags, how her parents’ relationship dynamic is still being played out in her current relationships, and what she needs to change and practice in order to truly open her heart and let love in.

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

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Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Music Unlimited. For a limited time, get it for FREE for 30 days. Just head over to getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate to learn more and claim this offer.

Want to be coached on the show? Fill out an application here: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching



  1. Wow – that was really amazing! Thank you, Sandy and Cynthia! *

  2. Thanks so much, Debbie!

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