Why Successful Women Struggle to Find Love
In this episode of Last First Date Radio, I had a dynamic conversation with Andre Paradis about how successful women can find love. Check it out!
I had a lively conversation with my radio guest, Andre Paradis, about why successful women struggle to find love. Andre is a certified life coach, entrepreneur, business owner, dancer, and artist who teaches singles and couples how to create and maintain successful relationships. As the founder of Project Equinox, he helps couples reduce power struggles by teaching them to understand one another, communicate effectively, and negotiate differences.
Check out highlights for episode #306: How Our Culture Gets Love Wrong, with Andre Paradis.
Why Successful Women Struggle to Find Love
You’ve had an interesting life that brought you to the work you do today. Can you tell us a little about your journey?
I felt like I was born into the wrong family. I began observing people in my family, and then became an observer of life and all people. I learned so much by being curious about everyone. I danced as a teen, and had a career in jazz dance with Michael Jackson and other big hitters. I did this for 15 years.
My wife is a prima ballerina, and we wanted to start a family. So, I stopped traveling and opened an auto body shop. I love restoring old cars. This was phase two of my life.
I am the ultimate teacher, so about ten years ago, I ended up in a workshop with Alison Armstrong called Understanding Women, and it changed my life. I couldn’t believe what I didn’t know. I began to understand my wife so much better. That’s how phase three of my life as a relationship coach started.
Why do successful women struggle to find love?
In dating, a lot of successful women show up on a date sharing their accomplishments [instead of their hearts]. Men are looking to see if you’re fun, receptive to him, and if you will add quality to his life. Do you get where he’s coming from and accept his quirks? Vulnerability is key to keeping him interested in asking for a second date.
Share your passions. Share your heart. Men are looking for the heart, as they’re always in their heads, thinking of the future. Women can bring men to the present. That’s hot to him.
In today’s culture, women are empowered, and men are softer. Women and men naturally bring the complement to each other. But, when women are too much in their masculine energy in dating, they turn men off. Masculine men find masculine energy women irritating. We’ve switched roles in business, but in dating, it is destroying the ability to build romance.
How can we change the dynamic of successful women in the dating world?
You can choose the energy you wish to show up with on a date. One of my clients prepares for a date after work with music in the car to get her into her feminine. Some change their shoes from flats to pumps, even if going to the grocery store. Shift your energy from results-oriented to openness. Men will see and respond to you.
Men find your power interesting, but not attractive. A man wants to make your life better. You have to show him your need for him, and he’ll puff up, because you allowed him to help you.
Some men were shamed out of being masculine, so they don’t [take the lead with women]. That leaves women feeling like men don’t care. If you turn on your feminine and allow him to show up and be more masculine, he’ll step into his masculinity.
Don’t open your own door if you want him to open it. You give him permission to be the man and re-cultivate the masculinity in him. Some men won’t step up, and that’s okay…they won’t be for you.
What are your final thoughts for successful women who want to find love?
Do you want to be a career woman or a woman with a career?
If you want to be a woman with a career, family and relationships come first. What is it that you want? If it’s a family and kids, focus on that.
- NOTE: At the end of the podcast, Andre says that planning for a family after 40 is much more difficult than it is when you’re younger. While that may be true, I don’t want you to be discouraged and give up hope if you’re single and over 40. Many of my over-40 clients have never married, and they’re prioritizing love and marriage now. I help them manifest the love they seek.
- Please don’t be discouraged. It’s never too late to have the love and family you seek. It may look different than you had dreamed of when you were younger, but with the right guidance, your dream of love, marriage, and a family can be yours.
You can find Andre at projectequinox.net
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