Why You Should Lower Your Expectations in Dating
Lower your expectations in dating. What? Yes, your expectations are probably keeping you single. Find out why in this video!
If you’re a single woman over 40, you may be sabotaging your love life by having too many expectations. That’s why I suggest you lower your expectations. What? Lower your expectations in dating? Yes, you read that correctly. Here’s why…
Let’s say you expect men to always pursue you, and you never initiate contact, you will miss many opportunities to connect online and offline with quality men. (HINT: Men over 40 don’t chase like younger men do).
If you expect men to have advanced degrees in education in order to prove their intelligence, you’ll miss all the brilliant men who never went to college. Do you see what I mean? Watch this video to learn more.
Lower Your Expectations in Dating
High Expectations vs. High Standards
Instead of setting high expectations, it’s important to set high standards for your partner. Who does he need to be to make you happy? What character traits are important to you?
Make sure you have a realistic must-have list, not a ‘type’ based on past relationships. If you were meant to be with your ‘type’, you would still be with him, right? Those relationships didn’t work out, because they were wrong for you.
Lower Your Expectations in Dating, But…
Be scrupulous and very picky about the qualities that create lasting love. Let go of all the other small stuff. He has to be six feet tall? He has to be a CEO? Own a home and a fancy car? Take you on expensive vacations? Share all the same interests as you? Practice religion in the exact same fashion as you?
Those are what I call ‘nice to have’ qualities, especially if you’re no longer raising children with a partner. Relationships in midlife are about finding a partner who is compatible with you.
How Important Is Chemistry?
Attraction is essential in a romantic relationship, BUT if you are swept away with butterflies on a first date, it’s usually a BAD sign. Those relationships are based in lust, and they rarely develop into the rich deep relationship you desire.
Look for someone where the chemistry is hot, but it’s not off the charts from the first encounter. If your attraction is at a 5 out of 10, and he has your must-haves, it can definitely grow. Give it time, but only if he has your must-haves and none of your deal breakers.
How have your expectations prevented you from finding lasting love? Let me know in the comments.
Are you confused about how to create your must-have and deal breaker lists? Let’s talk! Click here to apply for a complimentary coaching consultation, where I’ll identify your blind spots and areas of growth so that you can go on your LAST FIRST DATE!