Will Our Long-Distance Relationship Work?

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

Online dating exposes you to a world of online daters, and I mean ‘world’ in both its metaphorical and literal sense. Depending on how broad your search setting is, you can meet someone who lives around the corner or around the world. I have always set my search to be broad. My feeling is, if my soul mate is out there, how will I know if I don’t search everywhere? And why not make the best use of online dating, which can expose me to daters across the globe? So, what happens when you do meet someone who lives far away?

Long distance relationships can present challenges. You need to be brutally honest with yourself before you get involved. Because if you haven’t thought it through, chances are one or both of you will end up being heart-broken.

I remember speaking to a guy who complained about how hard dating online was for him. He kind of wrote the whole thing off based on one bad experience. He described a ‘torrid love affair’ with a woman he met online. He lived in Arizona, she in New Jersey.

Neither of them was willing to relocate.

So after a hot summer of love, they broke up. Two broken hearts, and one long-distance relationship that soured all future long-distance relationships for this guy.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Long-distance relationships, or LDR’s, can be very successful ~ IF you go in with your eyes open.

How to Have a Successful Long Distance Relationship

1. Be honest. It’s important to be truthful to yourself and to him. Last night, I was talking to a new guy I met online. He lives in Canada, I live in Connecticut. He cut right to the chase. He felt a connection to me, and I to him. He asked me, “Would you be open to making this work? Would you relocate?” I am pretty open about relocating for my soul mate, but he wasn’t as open. He had a dream of retiring in his gorgeous country home. His business is brick and mortar, while mine is more virtual. These things need to be sorted through BEFORE you develop feelings for each other.

2. Be flexible. If you’re really in pursuit of your soul mate, what are you willing to do for that dream? Are you willing to give some things up? Maybe you’ve always pictured yourself living in close proximity to your grown kids. You might imagine that if you moved away, you would lose that closeness. The truth is, while living nearby can definitely make it easier to get together, there are other ways to stay in close contact with your loved ones. If you make enough money, you can fly to be with your kids on a regular basis. You can Skype and see each other as often as you like. If you think outside the box, I believe you can make it work.

3. Be open. Do you really want to meet your soul mate? How important is a lasting, loving relationship to you? Are you open to doing whatever it takes to have that incredible experience of being in love? What are you willing to sacrifice for love? You can’t keep living your life exactly as you are and be able to meld with your soul mate. You will have to make some compromises.

Take a few moments to begin a list of what you’re willing to do (and not do) for love.

Be open to compromises. Be honest with yourself about what those changes might be. And be ready for your soul mate whenever he arrives. He might live across the world. He might be around the corner. You’ll recognize him and make room in your life for him if you have cleared a space for him to enter your life.

xoxo

Sandy

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