Would You Date a Grandmother?

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, first date success | 2 comments

date a grandmotherMy oldest daughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It’s an amazing thing – witnessing your daughter carry a baby for nine months and then become a mother. And ready or not, I became a grandmother. I’m actually very ready. I’m excited to get to know this little baby girl. Everyone asks, “What will you be called?” I’m no Nanny, Nanna, Nona, Oma, Grandma, Granny, Bubby, or Savta. I decided on “Mima”. That is of course until the baby starts to talk and calls me whatever she likes. But for now, I’m basking in the glory of being Mima to this miraculous little being. And I get to hold her for the first time tomorrow. So exciting! I’m a grandmother! And then I wonder, how will being a grandmother effect my dating? I mean, would you date a grandmother?

I’ve dated men in their late 50s who got married later in life or were remarried and have young children. I’ve also dated men the same age with grandchildren. Here’s what I’ve learned: a first date is not a good time to scroll through all of the photos and videos of your kids and grandkids. It’s not the right time to be talking about what geniuses your grandchildren are, like how they can sing in perfect pitch at the age of two. Your children and grandchildren are a very important part of your life, but when you’re first getting to know a romantic interest, talking about your grandkids ad nauseam can be a huge turnoff.

Would you date a grandmother or grandfather?

If you’re over 40, chances are you’ll be dating your fair share of grands. Enjoy it. Grandparenting can bring out a whole other side of a person. A softer, gentler, more vulnerable side, which is beautiful, right? For anyone who’s had kids and gone through the sleepless nights and hard times, grandparenting is supposedly all the good and none of the hard stuff. You enjoy the grandkids, you spoil them, and then you give them back to their parents to deal with the discipline and frustration. Sounds perfect. I can’t wait!

If you’re dating a grandparent and they go on and on about their grandkids, stop them. You don’t have to tolerate a long conversation about their kids or grandkids. You can kindly and gently interrupt and say something like,

“Your grandson Charlie sounds adorable. I’m sure you have tons of fun stories about him. If we get to know each other better, I’d be more than happy to learn more about Charlie. But for now, I’d like to get to know you better.”

Then change the topic. The purpose of those first few dates is to get to know each other and have fun. Not to tell your life story. Not to share photos of your kids or grandkids. That comes later if the relationship grows.

I think that being a grandmother, or Mima, will be awesome. I believe it will add a beautiful dimension to my life. And I’ll make sure not to talk too much about her on a first date. It might be hard to keep the excitement to myself. But there’s one thing I know for sure – you should definitely date a grandmother or grandfather. You’ll love the warmth and sweetness that grandparenting brings to your date.

Are you a grandparent? If so, how has it changed your dating experiences? Have you dated a grandparent? Please share your experiences below.

NOTE: My daughter won’t allow photos to be posted yet, so that’s why there’s no photo. She hasn’t been named yet. According to the Orthodox Jewish tradition, baby girls are named during the prayer service at the Torah reading. She’ll have a name this Monday morning.

Comments

2 Comments

  1. I am sooooo happy for you! You are headed toward some wonderful experiences. I am Baba to three amazing grandchildren who have thoroughly enriched my life. And I do date – it has never bee an issue!!! Enjoy! Suzy

  2. Suzy – thank you so much for your good wishes. I love hearing from other grandparents about how enriching and joyous grandparenting can be. Glad it’s never gotten in the way of your dating. Anyone who can’t handle us hot grandmas is not the right partner for us! Have fun 🙂

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