Your Limiting Beliefs are Holding You Back From Finding Love

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

I had an unusual visitor last night. I’m on an email list to be contacted when someone in my community is in need of help; whether it’s for a homemade meal after a hospital stay or the birth of a child or someone in need of housing for a special event, I like to help when I can.

Yesterday’s visitor was a 37-year old woman recovering from a double mastectomy. I had heard that she was a single mother of two, and my heart went out to her.

As this vibrant, good-spirited blond-haired, blue-eyed woman came by to pick up the meal I had cooked for her family, we immediately bonded over shared experiences. She commented on my hand-painted furniture and mosaic work and we made a date to mosaic together in the near future. When I told her I was also a dating coach, she said, “We need to talk!”

She confessed that her love life was a mess. She no longer trusted her ability to choose who to date. She just kept picking the wrong men, so her friends now review her potential dates’ online profiles before she’s allowed to date them!

When I asked what kinds of men she thinks she should date, she said, “Someone without children, because my kids are not easy. Someone not too much older, because I’m immature and act like a 25-year old. And now that I’m recovering from cancer, who’s going to want to date me?”

This woman’s got a heap of limiting beliefs. I told her that a guy with kids might be better equipped to be a step dad. He’s likely to be more understanding, patient, loving towards her kids. Someone older might be just the ticket in helping her feel more grown-up.

The breast cancer recovery thing? So many people are recovering from something or dealing with an ongoing illness. I’m not saying it’s easy. But it doesn’t make you undatable.

Limiting beliefs are just that ~ limiting. What you believe is what you will attract into your life. I’ve said it many times, and I’ll say it again. Change your thoughts, change your outcome.

I look forward to making a date to create some beautiful mosaics with my new acquaintance, and I’m sure the conversation will quickly turn to dating. Hopefully, with a little bit of coaching to reframe her limiting beliefs, and with some time to recover and heal from her surgery, she will be dating men who are a better fit.

What are your limiting beliefs? What have you told yourself about your own limitations that are keeping you from finding real love?




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