Your Limiting Beliefs Are Keeping You Single

Posted by in dating in midlife | 0 comments

limiting beliefs

Did you know your limiting beliefs are keeping you single? In this video, I reveal why we have ’em and how we can bust ’em!

Have you ever believed:

  • There’s no one out there for me
  • All the good ones are taken
  • Online dating doesn’t work
  • I’m too old/fat/uneducated/damaged to find love
  • All men my age want younger women

If you said yes to any of the above, congratulations, you have just identified some of your limiting beliefs. Those beliefs are nasty! They can make you feel disempowered in your search for love.

The good news is, they are false beliefs, and they can be changed. They’re rooted in fear. You might have heard that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. This type of fear is false, and fear and love can’t coexist. 

How Your Limiting Beliefs Are Keeping You Single

When you have a limiting belief, like ‘all men want younger women’, you unconsciously gather false evidence to support that belief. It feels true to you, so your brain looks for evidence to prove you’re right. Sure, you’ll find many older men who only date younger women. But ALL older men? That’s not true, is it?

It appears real, because that’s all you can see. You know how when you’re buying a new car, and you’ve never really noticed that brand before, but now you see it everywhere? It’s called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, and it works the same way with limiting beliefs. Our brains focus on what we train it to focus on.

These beliefs will keep you in that cycle of fear. And they could keep you from actually noticing your match when he’s right in front of you. What can you do about those limiting beliefs?

Here are five ways to bust those beliefs so you can open your heart to love:

1. Recognize your limiting beliefs and know that they stem from your past experiences.

List your limiting beliefs. You only believe these things are true because of what happened in the past. You had an experience, and you interpreted it so it made sense to you. These beliefs can be changed when seen through a different lens. 

2. Remind yourself that the past is not the present or future.

What happened in the past doesn’t determine what will happen now or in the future. Instead of turning your beliefs into facts, see them as a teaching experience to help you know what to avoid now and in the future. You are not the same person you were when the belief was formed. You can make better choices now and avoid repeating behaviors that led to those beliefs.

3. Challenge every limiting belief.

When you think a disempowering thought, like “online dating doesn’t work”, challenge it. Come up with three reasons why those thoughts are not facts.

If you look around you, you’ll find many couples who met online. People find love online all day every day. It may not have worked for you, but it can work with the right guidance.

4. Let go of thoughts about the past.

When thoughts and feelings about any of your beliefs come up, don’t cling to them. Acknowledge that your mind is pulling you back to the past and wants to drag you through a cycle of pain and sadness.

Simply noticing and acknowledging that your mind wants to take you back to the past will help you come back to the center. Watch those thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky.

5. Adapt a new list of true beliefs.

What you focus on tends to show up in your life. To change your limiting beliefs, look for what’s true instead, like turning, “online dating doesn’t work” to “online dating does work with the right guidance.”

If you stay focused on facts vs fears, you will be in a much better place to invite romance into your life.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find the love of your life, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love.


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